Wolf or Vamp?
by blueeyedmama1
Summary: Nikki is Embry's imprint but he's an idiot. She leaves with the Cullens who have a new member. Who will she chose wolf or vamp? First fanfic please be nice!
1. Chapter 1

"Nikki!" Ugh really mom it's fucking 9 am! I popped my back and ran downstairs.

"Clothes Nik." I looked down did my boy shorts and spaghetti strap suddenly come off while I was sleeping? Nope still there.

"Dad I have clothes on if I didn't i'd be naked." I smirked,"Now why in god's name am I up so early on a Saturday?"

"Bonfire tonight sweet pea. You have to help your mom with the food."

You have got to fucking be kidding me,"Why me?"

"Because I said so." Dad kissed my forehead and ran out the back door.

"Mom?"

"Nik your sisters are busy with Brady and Collin. If you'd spend some time with your imprint you wouldn't have to help me either."

I hopped up on the counter and grabbed some potatoes to peel,"I spend time with him. It's just weird right now."

"Why?"

"Because mom he isn't like Brady and Collin he has a girlfriend for fucks sake."

She frowned,"Have you talked to him?"

"How can I when he's always with her?I'm the freak of the family I guess."

"No baby just give it sometime he'll come around."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways do you care if I bring a date tonight?"

"Ask your father."

I ran out the back door and over to the garage. Which of course Embry would be here,"Dad?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Mom told me to ask you if I could bring a date tonight?"

"Go ahead." He sighed he knew why I was doing this but let me anyways. I kissed his cheek.

"Love you!"

"Love you to baby girl."

"Oh god Nik. Put my some damn clothes on!" I laughed Junior was standing behind me.

"Like I told dad if I didn't have clothes i'd be naked."

"Might as well be."I blushed as he looked me up and down. Fucking Embry just had to growl really i'm his imprint yes I get that but fucker has a girlfriend.

"That's my cue to exit." I turned and ran back to the house. The other wolf girls as they call themselves were in the kitchen with my mom.

"Mornin' Nik." I kissed Leah's cheeks she was my godmother and technically second cousin or something like that.

"Mornin'. Daddy said I can i'm going to go call him."

"Put some clothes on while you're up there." I laughed and shut my door. I made my date for tonight and Embry was going to freak when he sees him. I showered really quick pulled my hair into a messy bun threw on my shorts and tank before going back downstairs.

"So Nik. Why are you bringing a date you only know it will end badly." I rolled my eyes aunt Nessie was always worried about blood loss.

"Because if he's allowed to have someone else so am I. I mean seriously why the fuck does he need a girlfriend anyways?!" Yes i'm jealous but wouldn't you be to if the guy you were head over heels in love with was fucking some other bitch?

"Because he's stupid."

I snorted,"I could have told you that one."

Hot arms wrapped around my stomach,"Hey Mikey." He kissed my temple.

"What's up?"

"Stuck cooking for you guys. I swear i'm just going to tell mom i'm spending time with Embry so I can get out of it like Alyssa and Court do."

"You know you love it." God his smirk is sexy. He's like one of those guys you're drawn to. He looks like just like Paul, and was my boyfriend before he phased last year that's when I found out about the imprint.

"Shit maybe if I got laid after like everyone else does."

He bit my neck,"I can arrange that."

I snorted,"Yeah right they'd all kill you." I shoved away from him and over to Tyler.

"Hey baby girl." Ty has been my best friend since I can remember and our mom's have pictures of us before that.

"Where's Michaela?"

"She'll be here later."

I kissed his cheek before he walked out the back with Mikey. I smirked at mom,"You know mom. Can't dad lift that whole thing about wolves can't touch imprints?"

Leah burst out laughing,"Nope oh god you should have seen his thoughts when Mikey showed thoughts of you two together. Embry was worse though."

I remember that day I was so embarrassed that the whole pack knew what a freak I am. I got over it though they never said anything well except TyTy he wouldn't look at me for a week after that. I busted up laughing remembering that.

**Dad's POV**

Jake, Embry, Quil, Paul, Jared and I were all discussing the new shifts when Nikki burst through the door.

"Dad?"

"Yeah baby?" I saw the look Embry got in his eyes and I knew his feelings were changing towards her.

"Mom told me to ask you if I could bring a date tonight?"

I sighed Embry whispering to me not to let her but he deserves to be the jealous one for a change,"Go ahead."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as she kissed my cheek,"Love you!"

"Love you too baby girl."

I glared at Junior when I saw him checking her out.

"Oh god Nik. Put some damn clothes on!"

"Like I told dad if I didn't have clothes i'd be naked."

"Might as well be." Fucking little horny teenagers. Embry growled once he looked her up and down.

"That's my cue to exit."

"Dude what the fuck was that?! She's my fucking imprint!"

"That you don't want! It's not my fault she's fucking hot."

I smacked him upside his head,"Don't talk about Nik like that."

"Sorry." He shrugged and set down.

"Sam you can't let her bring a date."

"Yeah I sure the fuck can. Like dumb ass over here said you don't want her you made that very clear to her when you slammed Ashley against the fucking wall and fucked her."

"I don't see her that way yet but she's still my imprint."

"Some way of showing it bro. Think about it if that was any of our wives in here dressed like that the clothes would have been off within seconds but you didn't even acknowledge her." Jake had a point there. Embry had no comment to that just got up and left.

"You do know this will end badly don't you?"

"No because I won't let it. I know who her date is and he will most definitely be able to handle himself against Embry."

"You're really going to let her go with him?"

I nodded, now maybe Embry will get his head out of his ass.

**ME!**

I finished helping with the food and ran upstairs to get ready for real this time. My date's meeting me at the beach and I can't wait to see the look on Embry's face. I picked out one of my skirts and halter's. See I don't phase but I have my dad's body temp so I never get cold. My brother's will phase though once they're old enough. I left my hair curly and did my makeup. No one really understands why I have blue eyes since my parents are both brown and everyone else in my family are brown too.

"Nik! Let's go!"

I ran downstairs grabbed a hoodie just for looks since Embry's slut would be there have to keep up looks.

I walked with mom down to the beach,"Who's your date?"

I smiled,"You'll see."

She stopped,"Oh god Nik it's not Mikey is it?"

I shrugged. Maybe it is maybe it isn't. See two can play and trust me is Embry going to be pissed when he sees who it is. Sure I might not completely love Embry like i'm suppose to yet but still come on if i'm his soul mate why the fuck can't he be like Brady and Collin and wait not go fucking some blonde bitch with fake tits. My anger calmed as we got closer to the beach. I ran and lunged at him,"Hi Jasper."

"Some anger issues there darlin'."

"Just thinking." I looked at Edward and he smirked knowing what I was thinking about. Fucker. I don't know how the hell it happened and daddy won't tell me but Jasper is my godfather crazy right.

"Someone is waiting for you."

I looked over his shoulder and smiled,"Alec." God he's beyond gorgeous hotter than Embry or the other wolves.

"Hey baby girl." I was tossed to him which of course he caught me with ease. I heard Embry growl but ignored him he hates the fact that Alec's one of my best friends and I love him just as much as I do Embry.

"Hey get off my date."

I smirked at the growl,"Hey Mikey."

He scooped me up making sure my skirt didn't slide up and sat down on one of the logs,"Miss me?"

I smirked,"Always." I could see Embry shaking but fuck him he's got his blonde barbie bitch.

He kissed my cheek and scooted me around on his lap. And sure enough I got poked in the ass.

"You should seriously work on that." I whispered in his ear so low that he almost missed it.

"You should take care of it for me."

I snorted,"Been there done that."

Embry got up, knocking bimbo bitch in the sand on his way, but before he could say anything dad cut in,"Nik come help with this."

Damn alpha voice he's serious. I kissed Mikey's cheek and went over to dad.

"Take these to your mother baby girl."

"Sure daddy. Talk to Embry while your at it or we'll just leave."

"You talk to Em. Or uncle Jake you know I have no control over him."

I smiled,"Uncle Jake!"

"Oh no not happening. I won't do your dirty work for you." He messed up my hair.

"Hey watch it." I took the plate of meat over to my mom before I caught Em's eye and motioned down the beach. Of course he followed. I made sure we were far enough away that they wouldn't hear us but close enough they would hear me scream just in case.

"What the fuck are you doing Nik?"

"I'm trying to enjoy my date and the bonfire. Which is hard to do with you fucking growling and shit."

"You're my imprint you aren't suppose to be on a fucking date!"

"Ohhh look who's fucking talking! You can have some blonde barbie bitch to fuck but yet I can't! Some fucking imprint you are!"

He looked down at the ground,"But i'm the one who has to look at his thoughts in his head."

"Don't pull that fucking bullshit with me! You don't see in his head you're in two separate packs. And I saw first hand you had slut over there up against the wall balls deep in that shit!"

"You saw that?"

"No shit!" I wiped away a few tears as the memory hit me and moved away from him,"Don't fucking touch me!"

"Nik stop." He moved to hug me and before I knew what happened I pulled my arm back and punched him in the jaw sending him to the ground.

"I said don't fucking touch me! And I made the choice for you." I ran back to the bonfire,"Come on Mikey we're leaving."

"Nik wait. Let me check your hand first."

"It's fine thank you Carlisle."

He wouldn't take no for an answer and pulled my hand to him. Of course it was fine just like I said.

"Nik you and Mikey can go back to the house Seth's there with the babies."

"Thanks daddy." I kissed his cheek before glaring at Embry and walking off.

**Embry's POV**

She just hit me and I actually felt it. I popped my jaw and went back to the bonfire just as she was leaving with the little prick.

"What the fuck! How are you just going to let her leave with him?"

"Calm down Embry!" I took a few deep breaths trying to calm my myself

"Yeah. Why does it matter if she leaves with him or not?" I looked to Ashley which of course is a good fuck but I have no feelings for her at all.

"Because she's my best friend that's why."

"Everyone just calm down. Nikki is a big girl now if she wants to go home with Mikey so be it. Embry there is nothing you can do." She whispered the last part,"Some imprint you are."

"Ash could you go get my jacket out of the car?" She got up and did what I asked even though I don't need it,"Why the fuck does everyone keep talking about what kind of imprint I am?"

"Because Embry you aren't the one who has to listen to her cry every fucking night! I mean shit what the fuck is wrong with you?!" Leave it Leah to get in my face.

"I don't have feelings for her that way!"

"Bull fucking shit! If you didn't why the fuck would you care if she fucked someone else?!"

"Fuck this i'm gone." I'm to old for this shit. I took off stripping my clothes as I went phasing was the only thing I could do right now to take my mind off of that.

**ME!  
**"NikNik. You know I love you but give the guy a break."

My face dropped what the fuck,"Your taking his side? Mike come on he has a girlfriend that he fucks in front of my face! I thought with the whole imprinting shit their faces are blurry."

I plopped down on the couch by Seth.

"They are but aren't it's hard to explain Nik just trust me no this."

I rolled my eyes,"No! I'm fucking tired of crying over him! I'm tired of my wolf not spending time with me! I might be acting like a spoiled brat but you don't get it!"

"So explain."

I sighed,"I'm not totally in love with him sure i'm attracted to him but at the same time I don't want him."

"Why?"

"Because I saw him with her. He told her he loves her you should have heard the shit he said. I don't want her sloppy seconds and shit all over me." I shivered just thinking about it. God shits nasty. What I really want to do is beat her until she's unrecognizable and be done with it.

"Nik you've been with other guys too."

"I haven't been with anyone in a year Seth. You know that." I looked at Seth yeah let's just say a little to much alcohol and being the only two in the house not fucking makes you do shit. Yeah he got his ass kicked by my uncle Jake and Embry both poor guy. After that night was when Em told me i'm his imprint.

"Really?"

"Seriously I talk and flirt but me and Mikey haven't been together since he phased."

"Does he know that?"

I shrugged,"Tonight was the first night we've talked without the blonde bitch there in I don't know how long. It wouldn't make a fucking difference anyways. Can we just drop the Embry thing?"

"Alright what do you want to do?"

"Whatever. I''m going to change." I could hear them putting in a movie but just walked into my room,"Shit Em."

"Sorry."

I rolled my eyes trying so hard to stay mad at him,"What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to talk to you. I can't have you mad at me." I walked into my closet.

"I'll be mad at you for awhile. Look Em just go."

"No Nik."

Shit,"How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it. You don't want me?" He already heard it so why lie now?

"No I don't. You heard everything so you already know while you've been fucking that bitch I haven't been with anyone a fucking year Embry not once have I fucked someone and for what?!" I swear this is when i'm glad I don't phase I would have ripped the house apart,"This is straight up bullshit! Fucking Alyssa and Court got lucky with their wolves, they haven't fucked anyone since we were born but no I get the fucked up one!" He was going to hear everything,"I might not love you but shit do you know what it's like to fucking see someone you care so much about fucking some other bitch? Someone you thought was just for you?! Yeah and you know I heard every god damn word you told her everything! I mean how the fuck can you sit there one minute telling me i'm the only girl for you but two hours later you balls deep in some bitch telling her that she's the only one for you and how much you love her!" He tried to stop me but I held up my hand,"No you listen! Yeah I fucked Mikey, Junior, and Seth but that was before I knew! You thought it was ok to keep something like this from me when fucking Brady and Collin told them but no you kept it from me!You think that i'm ok with it but i'm not! Dammit Em I was so fucking happy when you told me I was your imprint and I wanted nothing more than to make you happy then I saw that and it all went out the window."

He covered my mouth,"Nikki just listen to me." I bit him.

"No Embry! Just get out! Get out!"

"What?"

I wiped away a few tears,"Get the fuck out!! I don't want you here or anywhere near me for awhile." I whispered the last part but knew he heard me.

"If that's what you want."

I turned away from him and I heard him howl I let go fell to the floor. The pain was unbearable. I screamed into my sweater trying to muffle it.

"Nik?"

"Get my daddy." He was the only one to make it better.

"Ok." Seth kissed my head and was gone.

I curled up in a ball trying to stop the pain that I felt in my chest. Like something was missing.

"Are you ok baby girl?"

I couldn't speak it hurt so bad so just shook my head. He held me against him until I quit crying which god knows how long that was but I was out of tears.

"Baby girl? Why did you say those things?"

I took a shaky breath,"Be-cause I meant needed to hear it and I didn't want any of his excuses."

"Come with me." He picked me up and carried me downstairs and of course both packs were here minus Embry and Quil. And of course all the Cullens. Shit i'm use to not being able to do anything without them knowing.

"My baby. Are you ok?" Mom wrapped me in a hug. And before I could even try not to cry I felt a wave of calm.

"Thanks Jasper." I grinned at him.

"Anytime darlin'."

"Can you all give us some alone time with our daughter?"

"It's ok they can stay." I walked and sat down between Leah's legs. She always comforted me by messing with my hair.

"Nik. I know you're pissed but don't you think you were a little harsh on him?" I raised my eyebrow at Kim but before I could answer Leah did for me.

"Hell no. If anything she was way to easy on him. How would you feel if it was Jared doing this to you?" She bit her lip and looked down shrugging. Yeah I might have been mean but everyone knows he deserved everything I said. I was regretting the fact that I told him I didn't want him around me though maybe I went overboard with that.

"No you didn't."

"Did I say that out loud?" They all nodded.

"Sometime apart will give you both time to think. But honestly Nikki you need to hear him out."

I looked at my mom,"Really? Would you have heard dad out?"

"Technically sweetheart I did. You know this story."

"He was with Leah already I know that but after he imprinted on you he wasn't. This is totally different! He has been with how many girls since I was born?" There goes that calming shit again. I smiled at Jasper I love the Cullen's. Edward smirked damn mind reader.

"Nikki you can't hold something like that against him. Just hear him out baby before you make any decision."

I nodded,"Can already tell you nothing he says will make me want him like that."

"I've already seen it Nik they say it's alright." I smiled of course Alice would know.

"What's alright?"

"Nikki wants to come with us for awhile."

"To Italy?"

I nodded,"Time apart remember?"

Dad went to stay something but mom cut him off,"Be back before school starts."

I gave everyone hugs,"Don't worry i'll call everyday."

"Nikki you need to tell Em you're leaving."

"Alright he's at Quil's?" Uncle Jake nodded. Nessie and him decided to stay here this time with their kids so it would be just me and the rest of the Cullens.

"I love you all so much. Don't forget that." I have no intention on coming back anytime soon and the Cullens all seemed to know that. Edward nodded slightly at me. I didn't even get to sit down in the car before I was pulled into Alec's lap in the middle between Alice and Jasper.

"Quil's?"

"No i'll just call it'll end badly if we go there."

"She's right. Wait to call until we're at the airport." Alice took my hand and squeezed lightly,"Em you might want to go faster than you normally do."

He nodded and floored it everything was a blur as we passed. Edward? I met his eyes over Alec's shoulder. Does Alec know? He raised his eyebrow at me. Good thanks.

"Alice how long did you know?"

"Three weeks. I already have your clothes there but you'll have to share a room with Alec for now. I would have stopped you from saying those things to Embry if there was any other way for you to come with us."

I nodded. See Alice thinks that i'm Alec's soul mate and not Embry's. I have no idea I love them both but time away from Embry might change that because before last year I use to spend all my time with Alec and the Cullen's because of uncle Jake, but when Embry told me i'm his imprint I almost stopped spending time with them completely.

"Yo NikkiNik. You getting out anytime soon?" I shook my head clear and got out.

"Call now Nikki."

I grabbed my cell phone and called Quil's house,_"Hey Nik. One sec i'll pass the phone to Em."_

"No it's ok. I know he can hear me. I'm gone i'm going with the Cullen's for awhile."

_"You're going to Italy?!"_

I smirked,"Yep. I'll see you when I get back,and don't you dare try to come get me." I hung up and walked onto the plane turning my phone off in the process.


	2. Chapter 2

"There's a bed through there if you want to get some sleep Nikki."

"Thank you Esme." I kissed her cheek and walked back through the curtain and found a huge bed. I curled up in a ball under the covers. Jasper helped me go to sleep and I slept soundly until I got so hungry I couldn't stand it. When I woke up I was no longer in the bed on the plane but a huge room in a comfy bed but it didn't smell like Alec. I sat up almost to quickly.

"Good morning little one."

I smiled widely,"Hi Felix."

"I'm glad you remember me. Alec wanted to be here but he's feeding." I met Felix two years ago in Seattle once when Alec took me to a Skillet concert. He took to calling me little one since he towered over me by a foot and I was tiny enough then that his arms could have circled around me twice.

"Good his eyes were a little dark i'm glad he's back where he can feed freely."

"Our feeding habits don't disgust or scare you?"

I smirked,"Hell no. I use to spend so much time with Alec so I know he wouldn't hurt me plus it's who you are it's your nature to kill humans. Do I like it? No, but there's nothing I can do to change who he is and I wouldn't want to."

He smiled,"Well come on. Aro is waiting to meet you."

"I have to pee first." He laughed but pointed me towards the bathroom.

"Shouldn't you have said little girls room?" A new voice asked but knew from phone calls it was Demetri.

I snorted,"You'll find out really quick that i'm not proper Demetri."

"Well get on with it already." I rolled my eyes and finished I brushed my teeth and put the clothes on that were in there for me before walking back out.

"Ok done."

"Took you long enough."

"Nice to finally meet you too Demetri." Damn are they all this gorgeous?

He smiled finally after looking me up and down,"Alec didn't do you any justice."

I blushed looking down at my feet and both let out a low growl that I don't think I was suppose to hear.

"Come Nikki." I followed the two of them to the throne room quietly but got incredibly nervous when we walked through the doors. I was looking for Alec but he wasn't here.

"You must be Nikki. I'm Aro, this is Marcus, and Caius."

I smiled,"Hi." Aro was suddenly in front of me and grabbed my hand.

"Very interesting torn between the two. Dear brother do you feel that?" He turned to Marcus who didn't look as bored as he did in the pictures Alec showed me.

"Of course Aro. It won't take her long to find out who her heart truly belongs to." I raised my eyebrow.

"Alright, well didn't come for relationship advice just needed to get the fuck away from the dumb ass for awhile." I heard Caius chuckle I thought he was the mean one?

"I'm interested in the fact that you are not afraid of us. When we hold your life in our hands."

I shrugged,"I'm not afraid to die. If the Cullens thought you would kill me they wouldn't have allowed me to come and for the other fact you think it's interesting that i'm torn between a wolf and a vampire so obviously-"

"Nik they get it." I automatically turned and threw myself at him. I'm glad Embry isn't here it can go back to the way it was between me and Alec before he ruined everything. Marcus had a cocky grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and buried my head in his neck inhaling his scent.

"Even more interesting then I orginally thought." Aro nodded at Marcus.

"We will let you make the choice for yourself this will prove to be heartbreaking enough for you."

What happened to the whole make me stay in Volterra shit? Or could kill me for knowing of them.

"On one condition." I raised my eyebrow,"You must convince your father's pack to protect Nessie and her children."

"They already do. Even though they don't like her she's what we call a wolf girl. Which means no matter what she is protected by both packs. We're a huge family in a way, as you can see."Bella looked at me as to say we would talk about this later.

"Wolf girl?"

I nodded,"We belong to the wolves. It was something my mother and Aunt Kim started after they were imprinted on." They all nodded.

"Well as long as that is taken care of you are all free to go."

Alec carried me to a living room upstairs where the Cullens met us.

"Nikki. What do you mean your fathers pack does not like Nessie?"

I sighed,"Bella she doesn't act the same as she does when she's around you. She acts like she's gods gift to earth and no offense because I love Ness but if she wasn't uncle Jake's imprint she would have been ripped apart already."

"Bella she's right. Nessie acts like Rosalie but worse."

"It's uncle Jake's fault really."

"So they must not like you either?"

I snorted,"No they love me. Look Bella it's because she thinks she's the hottest bitch in La Push when actually none of the unimprinted wolves like her. She puts on way to much make-up wears to tight of clothes for her own good and acts like a spoiled rich bitch."

"What's the difference between you and Nessie?" She was angry but i'm not one to back down. I speak my mind and the truth.

"One I don't act like i'm gods gift to men, second I don't wear an enormous amount of makeup, and thirdly the clothes I wear flatter me not degrade me." Before I could blink I was pulled behind Alec and I have no clue when Demetri got here. I suddenly felt calm and Bella relaxed against Edwards hold. Sure she had speed but I had her in strength.

"Everyone just relax. Bella Nik speaks the truth. I've seen how Ness acts around the wolves and it's not pretty. She's also telling the truth of what the guys think about her. She is truly the wolf princess if you will." Edward smirked at my daddy's nickname for me.

"I'm sorry Nikki just got carried away."

I shrugged,"It's whatever. Alec i'm bored." It was already nine p.m,"I know take me to a club."

Alice started jumping up and down,"Yay so much fun come Nikki time to get ready."

I guess that was a yes we're I showered I was put into a to short of a robe and pushed into a chair. She was doing my hair and makeup at vampire speed,"I have to so I still have time to get ready. Rose is picking out your clothes. There all done. Go get dressed don't argue just do." I ran to my closet even though I know Alec and Demetri saw me since I was whistled at.

"Here you go Nik. You'll look hot. Just be careful in the boots they're mine." Rose looked hot in a pair of skinny jeans heels and a blood red halter.

I put on the bra and thong set Alice picked out which of course was hot pink, the bra was strapless, next was the white mini I sighed but did it anyways since I can't fight Alice always wins. It barely covered my ass but my legs looked awesome with the jimmy choo boots Rose let me borrow. The shirt was my blood red double zipper strapless corset from hot topic. I finally found a mirror and I looked fucking hot and I never say that about myself. My hair was curled perfectly in curly q's down my back makeup done perfectly of course. I smiled one more time before walking back into the living room.

"Holy shit NikkiNik. You're fucking hot." I didn't even blush this time.

"Thanks Em." Alec hadn't said anything just kept looking me up and down. Dear god was he gorgeous he had on a pair of dark blue jeans, white button down his V necklace and blue contacts in holy fuck take me now. I shook my head clear and smiled everyone that was going was already ready damn vampire speed.

"I was right. Definitely give Rose a run for her money. Let's go."

Alec still hadn't moved,"Alec?"

He shook his head looking up at my face,"We're leaving." He laced his fingers with mine and walked at my pace to the elevator.

"You're breathtaking baby girl."

"Thank you. So are you." We were quiet until we were on the elevator and I was suddenly pushed into the wall.

"I'm definitely not letting you out of my sight tonight." I moaned when he bit my neck not hard enough to break the skin but enough to leave a mark then sucked on it i'm sure i'll have a hickey but at this point I don't care. I moaned but we were stopped when someone cleared their throat. I turned to see Demetri smirking at both of us while the others were laughing. Alec growled but pulled me to the limo. What the fuck just happened? Alice was touching up my makeup when we pulled to a stop in front of the club. Alec helped me out I was glad we didn't have to stay in the huge line out front they didn't even ask for my id like they did Alice. We were led to a vip room that had it's own bar and dance floor. I guess so they didn't have to worry about blood lust.

"We shall return." Demetri and Felix ran out of the room.

"They're going to go find someone for the night."

I nodded and sat back but not for long before Alice was pulling me up to dance with her and Rose to Low by Flo Rida.I was in the middle and I love to dance with them.**(Not going to put the lyrics in look them up if you don't know the song). **We each danced to the music grinding on each other. I was use to dancing with Rose so it doesn't bother me when she starts rubbing on me. She liked how turned on Emmett got by seeing her with another girl and she kept me cool in the process. We dropped to the floor in the right places and slowly rolled back up. Alice handed me a bottle of water after the song was over but quickly put it down when Shake by The Ying Yang Twins came on. Rose decided to sit out so me and Alice just shook our asses next to each other. This is the one time I love having an ass to actually shake. This is one of the easiest songs to dance to and I love it. I danced with the girls for two more songs When I Grow Up by Pussycat Dolls and My Humps by The Black Eyed Peas before Sexy Chick came on and Alec pulled me against his chest I hooked my left arm back around his neck and made sure my ass was rubbing right against his dick which was already hard and felt so good. I felt the wetness growing in between my legs, normally guys have to work to get me wet but he touches me once and I get soaked. His hands were rubbing up and down my thighs but he would never touch where I wanted him to most. He was biting and sucking on my neck until the song ended and I needed to sit down.

The whole room smelled of sex Demetri and Felix were either getting fucked or just dry humped by the girls they picked out for the night.

"What are you thinking?"

I smirked,"That i'm horny and the room smells like pussy."

He laughed,"That it does."

I woke up wrapped up in a pair of cold weren't Alec's.

"Good morning little one."

"Shh. Not so loud." I barely whispered. My head was killing me. He laughed quietly and pressed his big cold hand against my forehead shit felt good.

"Sit up very slowly. I have some tylenol for you." I set up slower than a turtle. He handed me a powerade and some tylenol,"You had tequila no water."

I swallowed and drank half of it in one gulp,"Thank you. Where's Alec?"

"On a mission. He'll be back later on. Rose is coming to help you shower and get ready."

"I can shower alone." I tried to stand up but fell back against the bed my cooch hurt like none other. I looked at my thighs and they were all black.

"That's why she's coming to help. The shower will help your muscles."

"Thanks Felix."

"No problem little one." He kissed my head and left the room.

I was trying to remember all that happened last night but could only remember the dancing part.

"Mornin' Nik."

"Hi Rose. What did I do?"

Her eyes widened,"You don't remember?"

"No. All I remember is dancing."

"Or dear lord. Come on i'll explain in the shower. I'm sure you have an idea."

"Alright let me rephrase that. Who did I do?"

"Alec of course." That's a relief at least at wasn't Felix,"You actually fucked in the bathroom at the club. He brought you here when you were rubbing up on Demetri. No more tequila for you, you were fine up until that 's gone for a week."

"A week really?"

"Yeah i'm sorry Nik. He said you can call him anytime you want." She was being careful rubbing over all of my bruises.

"Maybe it's a good thing he's gone. He would never forgive himself if he saw these."

"He saw these."She pointed to my thighs. Those were the worst but my whole body was bruised.

"Rose why was Felix holding me?"

"So you wouldn't freak when you woke up. Alec didn't like it much but trusts Felix more then Demetri."

"Oh. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How do I decide?"

"Listen to your heart Nik it never lies."

"I love both of them though."

"I know but the question is who can you live without?"

"I don't know that's the problem." I was whining and I know it.

"Do you miss Embry?"

"Yes."

"Is it because of the imprint?"

"Yeah. The imprint is bullshit Rose. I haven't been able to have as much fun as I did last night since I found out about the stupid thing. I was never attracted to Embry before he told me about it then he acted like I was his property. I've always wanted Alec though he doesn't baby me or act like i'm his property."

"Think about what you just said and you will realise that you already know the answer to your question."

"I don't know. I feel like if I chose Alec i'll let my family down. I'll be the first imprint to not chose the wolf."

"They want you to be happy Nik."

"I know but daddy would freak if he knew I wanted Alec. Speaking of which I need to call them."

"Nik your dad knows you like Alec he's seen it. Jake's told him so many times we all see the way you look at him and also the way you tense when they are in a room together."

"Because no matter what my choice is it will come down to a fight. I don't want that."

"Alec is more than capable of handling his own."

"I know but if he fights Embry the packs will get involved."

"Yes and we would fight beside Alec. Nik you've heard of his power you know what he can do."

"I know but I don't want Embry to die."

"Because of the imprint you're tied to him. Alec knows this, just know that your choice will not cause a war for the wrong reason."

That makes no fucking sense but whatever. My legs finally quit hurting and she helped me out. I got dressed on my own and threw my hair up into a messy bun. I'll worry about makeup after I call my parents.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Uncle Jake."

_"Hey Nikki. You ok?"_

"Yep still breathing."

_"Good. Hang on i'll get your dad."_

"Thanks."

_"Hey baby doll."_

"Hi daddy."

_"Are you ok?"_

"Of course I am. I told you Alec won't let anything happen to me."

_"I know. You've made your choice haven't you?"_

I sighed,"No not yet."

_"Listen to me baby doll. Make the choice for you not because you think it's what we want for you. I know what Embry has done has scarred you and I don't want you to be unhappy with any decision you mother and I both know you love Alec but we also know you love Embry too. Your heart will lead you to the right answer."_

I smiled,"Thanks dad. By the way since i'm over here I should probably tell you i'm-"

_"I know. Nessie let it slip that you won't be coming back for awhile."_

"Just don't let Embry come here. They will kill him."

_"Jake's taking care of that. Listen baby i'm going to let you go."_

"Ok daddy I love you."

_"I love you too baby."_

I hung up hearing Embry yelling in the background. I turned my phone back off I don't want to talk to him. Sure I might not be being fair but this choice sucks. I love both of them I just don't know who I love more. I felt like I was being pushed into deciding but I need more time.

_knock,knock._

"Come in."

I smiled at Demetri,"Hey. If you're here who's with Alec?"

"Jane is. They are more than capable of handling the situation."

I nodded,"I've heard. So what's up?"

"We have some guests and i'm here to gaurd you while they are here."

I raised my eyebrow at him,"Ok?"

"The kind of guests that will drain you. Alec would never forgive us if something happened to you, and the Cullens are out hunting."

"Oh ok." I put my back against the headboard and grabbed my makeup bag.

"Why do you wear that?"

I shrugged,"I'm surrounded by beautiful women all the time. It just makes me feel better."

"You're beautiful as it is."

I snorted,"But nothing like Rosalie or Bella or Heidi."

"They aren't human. And I must say for a human you give Rosalie a run for her money."

"Thank you." I don't believe him though. Just then Jasper walked in,"I got it from here."

"Ok. See you guys later."

"A little tense don't you think?"

I shrugged,"I don't know. Jasper?"

"I could tell you darlin' but this is something you have to figure out on your own."

"Dammit."

"You already know the answer sweet pea you just don't want to hurt anyone."

I shook my head,"No I don't want a war to start over me."

"You already had that conversation with Rose, and don't lie to me. Empath remember."

I sighed,"I don't want to hurt either of them but the war part is true. We both know it would happen. Both sides are my family, I don't want anyone getting hurt."

"Yes but we both know if you don't talk to Embry that war will happen sooner rather than later."

"Fine."

"I'll step out so you feel like you have some privacy." He winked at me before closing the door.

I sighed praying that he wouldn't answer. Damn no such luck.

_"Nik?"_

"Hi."

_"What the hell Nikki?"_

"What Embry?" He sounded so hurt like I ripped out his heart.

_"Why the hell did you leave?"_

"Because this is something I need to figure out on my own without you or anyone else from the pack getting involved."

_"What do you need to figure out?"_

"Who I want to be with."

_"WHAT?! YOU'RE MY IMPRINT!"_

"Don't yell at me Embry. Look we both know our imprint isn't the same as everyone elses. I love you both but I can't love both like this anymore." My heart was breaking already like I could feel his pain.

_"Who are you talking about? Alec?!"_

"Yes. I wish-."

_"What? That I never imprinted on you?"_

"No. I was going to say I wish I didn't have to decide."

_"You shouldn't have to. The choice should be easy."_

"But it's not. Just like what you told me when you wouldn't leave her for me when I asked you to."

_"So you've already made your choice?"_

"No. Look I only called so you won't come here. If you do you're dead."

_"I'm dead without you."_

"Don't say that Embry. I got to go." I didn't even give him a chance to say anything I didn't want him to hear me cry. I miss him and hearing him sounding so desperate and heart broken made it even worse.

"You ok sweet pea?"

I shook my head and sank down on the bed.

"It'll be ok."

I fell asleep really don't want to deal with this right now.

_"Come out come out wherever you are!" I was running through the forest away from Embry. I was suddenly flipped in the air and put behind Alec and Felix. Suddenly Embry shifted into his wolf growling and lunging at Alec. All of a sudden Embry froze and fell to the ground. _

_"D get her out of here now!"_

_"NO! Don't hurt him!" Alec turned to me with an evil glint in his eye._

_"Your choice has been made Nikki. He won't let you go this is the only way." He snapped Embry's neck almost clearly off._

_"NO!!! GOD NO!"_

"Wake up Nikki!" I was being shaken by someone. I jumped up smacking my head on the bed in the process.

"Sorry calm down darlin'. I heard you scream."

"Oh my god Jasper." I was trying to catch my breath wasn't easy while crying.

"Another fight?"

I nodded,"They killed him this time. Snapped his neck."

"Nikki it was just a dream." He was trying so hard not to use his power on me but I couldn't calm myself down.

"Just do it." I suddenly was at peace and so calm I almost fell back asleep.

"You said they."

"It was Alec Felix and Demetri. I was running through the forest back home Embry was chasing me in human form when Alec flipped me over his arm Em phased and Alec cut off his senses and yeah snapped his neck."

"Nikki--"

"Don't Jasper. I know when I make my choice they will fight don't say they won't."

He smirked,"I wasn't going to say they wouldn't. I won't sugar coat things darlin'. You have to face the fact that if they are in a fight one will die more than likely it will be Embry."

"I can't not have a life without Embry in it."

"But yet at the same time you won't live without Alec."

"No. I want both of them alive." He looked like he was thinking about something.

"When the time comes I will help you make the choice but right now just enjoy the time away from the pack."

I nodded,"No more Embry talk?"

"Nope. Not at all."

"Good, and I don't have to make a choice anytime soon?"

"Of course not sweet pea. It's all about you. We agreed to bring you here so you could have a clear head and not be dealing with all the shit you were. No one is forcing you to make a decision except the pack and yourself." I gave him one of my looks,"Really Nikki? Don't you think if Alec wanted you to make a choice he would have asked you already?"

This is why I love talking to Jasper. He doesn't tell me what I want to hear but what I need to hear.

"I love you too sweet pea. Just enjoy yourself and push the thought of deciding out of that pretty little head of yours." Just then Alice appeared almost out of no where.

"Two minutes. Come on Jasper. Nik we're right across the hall if you need us just scream."

I nodded was a little confused on what was going to happen in two minutes.

"Try to keep your emotions on the low ." I don't even know what I do when he says that but I do know he can't feel my emotions afterwards.

My phone rang. I almost squealed with excitement.

_"Hey baby girl."_

"Hey. How's your mission?"

_"Fine. I didn't call to talk about that. Are you ok?"_

"Yeah i'm fine."

_"Really?"_

"Yeah of course. Will it make you feel better if I have Carlisle look me over?"

_"It would actually."_

I rolled my eyes,"Ok. If it will make you feel better, but i'm fine."

_"The bruises say other wise."_

"I was a little sore earlier but i'm fine now. Don't worry about it."

_"I will worry about it. I told your dad I wouldn't let anything hurt you, and I was the one to actually hurt you."_

Suddenly I remembered everything and smiled,"I wasn't in any pain last night. In fact that was the best sex ever."

_"Don't try to make me feel better."_

"I'm not. I swear. I'll prove it to you when you get back."

_"We'll see. Stay away from Demetri as much as you can."_

"Oh yeah sorry about that. I've never had tequila before."

_He laughed,"No more for you. You get a little to touchy feely."_

I had to laugh remembering his face,"Rose already told me i'm cut off."

_"I gotta go baby i'll call you later."_

"Ok. Be safe Alec, don't come back with any more scars."

_He laughed,"I won't. Love you baby."_

"Love you too."

I was trying so hard not to think about it so I busied myself fixing my makeup and curling my hair.

"Alright food for the human."

"Thank you Carlisle. Oh by the way-"

"Don't worry about it. After you eat I would be more than happy to check you."

"Thank you."

"Jasper will bring you to my room after you're done. Please don't go wandering around the castle without one of us or Felix."

"I won't."

I ate quickly really just wanted to get this over with. Jasper walked with me in silence to Carlisle's room. He was pushing on all of my brushes which didn't hurt but was pretty sore.

"Does it hurt anywhere?"

"Just really tender."

"Ok. Put your legs up here. I'm sure you've had a pap done before?"

"Yeah. Mom makes sure I have one every year."

"Good a little pressure."

I whimpered in pain,"That hurts alot."

"I can see there's alot of swelling Nikki. Almost done."

I sighed when he pulled it out.

"Take it easy for awhile Nik you're pretty beat up."

"Please don't tell Alec that."

"I won't. You will be fine when he gets home." I smiled,"That does not mean he can be that rough again humans are not meant to be with vampires you know this."

"I wasn't even," Jasper and Carlisle both gave me a think it over before saying it look,"alright fine I was thinking about his homecoming sheesh."

"Gentle or I will tell Alec."

"Ok. Ok gentle I got it. Now can we please stop talking about my sex life."

"Of course you're free to go."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Me?"

I nodded,"Could we possibly talk somewhere there isn't so many ears?"

I heard everyone laugh,"Sure. How about a drive of Volterra?"

"Ok." I placed my hand on the inside of his elbow and we walked quietly to the garage.

He started when he knew no one could hear us,"Now what is it you want to talk about?"

"What's it like?"

"What my dear?"

"To live forever?"

"It's a blessing and a curse. I say a blessing because I never have to leave Esme, but a curse because of how i'm living forever." I nodded,"That's not the real question. Why don't you just ask?"

"I was just going to ask you because I know that Alec and Jasper don't have enough control to but could you-"

"If the time comes you wish to join us, I will. However I must to be certain that this is what you want and I can tell right now you don't know what to do."

I sighed,"Jasper told me no more talk of this."

"Jasper isn't here and I know this is bugging you."

"It is because I feel like my heart is ripped in two half with Embry the other with Alec."

"I know that dear. Let me ask you this now I don't want you to think about this just answer." I nodded,"Who do you trust completely that you know would never do anything to hurt you intentionally or unintentionally?"

"Alec."

"Ok. Who no matter what time it is or no matter what they're doing will drop everything to make you feel better even if it was over a broken nail?"

"Alec." It actually happened when I was twelve. Embry told me he was to busy on a date but Alec came as soon as I called him.

"Which one do you trust with your life more?"

"Alec."

"Who can you live without?"

"Embry." Oh shit that really just came out of my mouth. I slapped my hand over my mouth.

"See that was my intention all along. You answered the question truthfully without having to think about it. You answered with your heart not your head."

"I don't want to-"

"No more talk they can hear." He whispered quietly.

"Ok. I'm hungry." He laughed as he pulled into the garage and we were met by Jasper. I feel bad for Alice she isn't getting to spend much time with him right now.

"Come on Nik. Foods waiting for you in the kitchen."

He ran with me on his back down to the kitchen,"Stay right here I have to go get something."

I stayed in the chair eating my spaghetti.

"Hello."

I jumped and almost fell off my chair,"Hi. Marcus right?"

"Yes. I did not mean to scare you."

"It's ok."

"How are you enjoying your stay?"

I smiled,"It's great. I just wish Alec was here."

"Ah yes he should be home soon."

I nodded,"Right seven days."

"Aro will try to refrain from sending him on long missions again while you're here. Or perhaps you can travel with him if it will be long."

"Thank you."

"Of course enjoy your dinner."

"Thank you." He was gone just as quick as he appeared.

Jasper came back in,"You ready?"

"Sure."

"We're going out again if you want to come."

"I think i'm going to sleep."

"That's fine. Esme and Carlisle will be here if you need anything."

"Is there a tv around here somewhere?"

"Alice had one put in your room while you were gone."

"I still can't leave the room?"

"No."

"Ok then." He took me back to the room handed me the romote and left. Finally some alone time. I have to call him.

_"Hey baby girl."_

"Hey."

_"What are you doing?"_

"Watching tv."

_"You didn't want to go out?"_

"No. Remember what happened last night?"

_"Right. Did you have-"_

"Yes and he said i'm-"

_"Don't even try it. I already talked to Edward and he told me that you're bruised from head to toe and that you're swollen."_

"But he said i'm fine. You just have to be more careful with me."

_"That won't be-"_

"Oh don't even say that. If you prefer I can always turn to D-"

_"Don't even say it!" _Damn he sounds sexy when he growls.

I laughed,"Well then don't threaten something like that."

_"Nik it's not a good idea. I could hurt you."_

"I'm not as weak as a normal human Alec you know i'm stronger."

_"Can we not talk about this right now?"_

"Fine. For now i'll leave it. Are you busy?"

_"I'm never to busy for you love."_

I blushed,"Don't pur it's not very nice when you aren't here."

_"I will be soon enough. We're on are way back but have two more stops to make first."_

"Damn. I talked to Marcus tonight."

_"About?"_

"That you won't be sent on such long missions anymore and if you are I get to go with you."

_"Nik a mission isn't a place for you. You could get hurt."_

"Like Jasper would let me go anyways. You know he's just as strict as my dad." I heard Emmett's booming laugh,"Oops. Love you Jasper." He stuck his head in,"Love you too."

_"Nik?"_

"Shit sorry."

_"You're easily distracted."_

"Yes but you love me anyways."

_"With all my dead heart."_

I blushed,"I had an interesting talk with Jasper."

_"I heard. Listen to me baby girl, I love you but I will not force you to choose either of us. Aro has told me how hard this choice will be for you but I will not be the one to ask you to."_

"I love you Alec I do."

_"I know you do. I see it when you look at me have for awhile now. But I know that on some weird level you love him too."_

"Not as much." It was barely a whisper and I was praying he didn't hear it but of course he did.

_"Good to know but how about we change the subject. What do you want to do when I get back?"_

"Really want to know?"

_"Of course I do."_

"I want to go on a real date. I've never had one before." I was expecting him to laugh but of course he didn't.

_"I know you haven't and I would love to take you on a date."_

"Really? What are we going to do?"

_"Nope not telling it's a surprise."_

"Aww damn ok. I guess i'll let you go i'm going to take a hot bath and go to bed."

_"Thanks for the hard on Nik."_

I giggled,"Hey I just said it you're the one that had to go think about it."

_He groaned,"God be glad I love you."_

"Oh I am, and I love you too." I hung up because if I didn't I would be talking to him all night which wouldn't be a bad thing except the fact that he has a job to do.

I grabbed my pjs and started the bath putting bubbles in it. I was starting to hurt again and luckily Edward wasn't here or he'd be telling Carlisle. I winced as I set down in the tub it seriously felt like someone hit me with a bat over and over and over.

I set there until the water turned cold I felt even worse now then what I did when I got in. I pulled my robe on and slowly made it back to the bed. I was half way there before Jasper rushed into the room. When did they get back?

"Nikki?!" I wish he wouldn't feel my pain,"To late I already felt your pain from the moment we pulled into the garage. What the hell is wrong?"

"Nothing Jasper i'm just sore."

"That's more than sore Nik. Why didn't you tell Carlisle?"

"I thought a bath would help but it only made it worse," I felt something falling down my legs great just great,"Jasper?"

"Fuck." He scooped me up and ran into Carlisle's room.

"Jasper what's happened?"

"I don't know I felt her pain from downstairs then she started bleeding."

"Lay her down. Nik?"

"Yes Carlisle?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought a bath would help but it didn't."

"Jasper go get your brothers and sisters we need to be aware of the others in this castle make sure no one tries to get to her to attack her."

He was gone before I could blink,"Carlisle--" That was all I could say before it went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alec POV**

I just got off the phone with my Nikki and even though I told her I would never force her to choose between Embry and myself, my possessive side wanted her to. I have loved her for as long as I could remember. I knew the wolf imprinted on her but loved the fact that she always wanted to spend more time with me then him. That was until he told her of the imprint, she felt as if it were her duty to spend time with him. I hated watching her go through the pain of seeing him with some other girl all the time. Even finding them in the hallway as she went to go confess her love for him.

"Alec?"

"Yes Jane?"

"That was Jasper. We're flying back to Volterra now."

"What's happened?"

"Carlisle is trying to figure it out. She's bleeding badly and he can not get the blood to stop. She passed out soon after the bleeding started."

"Bleeding from where?" She didn't answer me looked away and I knew exactly what she was saying. I caused this, I wasn't gentle enough with her but she was begging for it harder and the animal in me couldn't help but give into her demands.

"Listen brother. I know you love her and don't take it the wrong way if the Cullen's do not let you see her right away. They are guarding her room from Heidi she can not control her lust."

I growled i'll kill that bitch if she even thinks of touching my Nikki.

"Calm brother. Heidi has not tried to hurt her she is just having a difficult time. They are bringing in more humans tomorrow for everyone to feed."

I wanted to kill someone take my anger out on anything, I didn't know what was wrong with her, or why Carlisle couldn't make the bleeding stop. I hate that i'm not there but don't know if she'll want me around after knowing I caused her all this pain,"How long?"

"Thirty minutes."

I started pacing the jet I couldn't sit down and this would be the longest thirty minutes of my existence.

**ME!!!**

The pain was unbearable.I wanted to scream but knew I was already causing Jasper enough pain.

I heard a chuckle,"She's worried about causing Jasper more pain."

"Shut--up--Edward." I was clenching my teeth to keep the scream in.

"Nik, don't worry about me. I can't feel your pain."

"Good. You--don't---want--to." I turned my head to look at him. I could tell he was still in control and I trusted him completely, more so than anyone else. Well except Alec.

"Actually Nikki I need you to open up to Jasper so I know from his point how much pain you are in since you won't tell me."

"You might want to sit Jasper." I waited until he set down before I thought of him feeling my pain. His face twisted and I knew he felt it all of it. I was in so much pain it felt like someone shoved a pipe up my cooch as far as it would go over and over and over, and at the same time someone was beating me with another pipe right above it. I took it back I don't want him to feel that.

"Holy fuck Nikki. Let me put you out."

"No. I'm---"

Just then the door flew open I didn't even see who it was before I smelt him,"Alec."

"Baby. Let him put you out. He was projecting I don't know how you're dealing with all of it and not screaming."

I shook my head,"No he needs his strength I'm fine."

"At least scream."

Carlisle was pressing into my abdomen that time I couldn't hold it in I screamed,"Ok. Edward now. Jasper please i'll call you if I need you."

Jasper left i'm guessing to go take Edward's place at the door. I know no one here would hurt me but Jasper went into dad mode. I was trying to think of anything but the pain so I started thinking of home. I miss my dad more than anyone else in my huge family, instead of mom I would go to him with my problems. Mom had her plate full with Alyssa and Courtney and I missed them too my best friends not just my sisters. I closed my eyes to try and keep the tears from coming I haven't even been here that long and I feel like this. I miss my boys, Junior, TyTy, Mikey, Seth, and then there's Embry. My heart ached like there was a giant hole in my chest I miss him the most for sure.

"I got the bleeding to stop finally luckily you're stronger than the average human. Gianna will be getting me your blood type from the hospital you still need a transfusion. I wasn't going to tell you this but Edward said it would be a good idea." I looked at him why do I get the feeling i'm going to flip out,"You had a miscarriage Nikki. I'm sorry."

I saw red,"What?! You were just poking around in my cooch taking a sonogram how the fuck could you miss the fact that I was pregnant?!"

"I'm sorry Nikki. That was my fault." Oh Alice thought it would be good to keep this from me?!

"Get the fuck away from me Alice! How the hell could you possibly think something like that was ok to hide from me?!You let me get drunk for fuck sake! Then on top of it you let Alec fuck me hard enough to where I was bruised!"

She looked down,"I'm sorry. I didn't see this happening at all."

"You rely on your sight to damn much! Get out!" If I could get off the table right now I would. How the fuck was I pregnant. My eyes went wide oh shit! "Carlisle? How far along was I?"

"Five months."

I sighed shit! Edwards eyes were bigger than mine at the shit he saw in my head. Please don't say anything.

"Nik?"

I shook my head,"I can't say anything. He would be killed. I can't i'm sorry."

"What do you mean killed Nik?"

"He's a wolf. They would kill him because i'm Embry's imprint." Alec wasn't touching me anymore I know he's mad because I tell him everything but I can't this time this isn't just about me it's about the guy I was with. I don't want him to lose his life because of me.

Alec stormed out of the room slamming every door he possibly could on his way out.

"Nikki!" Edward was whispering but was still mad at me.

"Not now Edward."

"Edward yes you read Nik's mind but this is not something we can force her to tell us if she doesn't want to." Carlisle always tried to protect my head he understands why no one and I mean no one can find out right now. At least until I go back home and I am there to protect HIM. So butt out Edward!

"Then I suggest you go home soon. How long can he keep his thoughts clear?"

"He's kept them clear this long hasn't he? And if none of you say anything to my parents they won't know until I tell them."

Carlisle nodded,"We'll respect your wishes."

"Thank you." He kissed my cheek before going back to cleaning me up.

"Jasper?"

"Yes darlin'?"

"Could you do something about the pain now?" It wasn't as bad anymore but it hurt all the same.

"Sure." He was brushing my hair back out of my face and taking the pain away.

"Thank you." I closed my eyes going to sleep.

**One Month later**

It's been a month since my miscarriage. How I miscarried at five months I don't know. I didn't think it was suppose to happen so late in the pregnancy. I didn't know I was pregnant because I'm on the depo shot I don't have my periods. Who knew wolves were so potent?

I'm sitting on my bed reading a book and listening to Need You Now by Lady Antebellum over and over. Alec hasn't spoken or looked at me since that day. I know he's mad but if I tell him who it was he will go crazy and I don't need my Dad or Uncles finding out about this right now. I miss Alec but when this song plays the only person I think about is Embry. I miss everything about him, the heat, his smile, laugh, hugs, everything, even his asshole tendencies. I picked up my phone for the second time today but hanging up before it even connected. I haven't talked him in a month it hurts to much and I know I would just start crying.

"Hey Nik. Shopping?" Alice came bouncing in my room.

I shook my head still reading. I didn't do much of anything and I don't know why she bothered asking she knew my answer. I'm just homesick I miss my boys, and my insanely huge family maybe I should just go home.

**Two Months later**

I'm still in Volterra i've been here for four months now. I still don't do anything I read, play video games with Emmett but never leave the castle. Alec still won't look at me, he's been going on extra long missions just so he doesn't have to be around me. We did have an argument one night though. I wanted to cry remembering it.

_I went walking through the castle towards the kitchen. I'm not suppose to be out alone but whatever it's not feeding time they ate earlier, and no one here will hurt me. I turned down a corridor without even looking first and ran into a stone cold wall, Alec. I sighed and tried to go around him._

_"You shouldn't be out here alone." He was rude in his tone._

_"Why not like you give a fuck anyways what happens to me."_

_"I don't. You know the rules."_

_I snorted,"Fuck the rules i'm hungry and can't find anyone so get the fuck out of my way."_

_"Fine hopefully no one is hungry in the castle. I would hate for them to waste themselves, thinking you are good enough." He was gone before I could say anything._

I was in the shower when I decided it was time to go home. My dad's been asking me to for the last month now and it's time. I rushed out putting my robe on and running to Jasper's room. He was waiting at the door for me.

"What's up darlin'?"

"I want to go home now tonight."

He smiled,"Of course. I'll make the arrangements."

I squealed and ran back to my room getting dressed in my skinny jeans, halter top, and jimmy choo boots. I left my hair curly i'll do my makeup on the plane. I threw all my clothes in my bags and waited patiently for Jasper to come in.

"Ok Nik we're all set let's go. The family will meet us at the airport." He was grabbing my bags and motioning for the door. I ran as fast as I could my heels clicking against the floor as we went. He flew to the airport. Everyone was there waiting giving me hugs and kisses as I got on the private jet.

"No one told my family right?"

"No. There will be a car waiting for you in Port Angeles to take you home. Make sure you sleep Nikki."

"I will I love you all." Jasper was last he really was a second dad to me.

"Have a good flight sweet pea. Text me when you get there. I love you." He kissed my cheeks.

"I love you too Jasper. Thank you for everything." I got on the flight excited to be going home. I waited until the flight attendant told me I could turn my phone back on.

"Hey Dad."

_"Hey baby girl."_

"Tired dad?"

_"It's six in the morning hell yes."_

I laughed,"Sorry. I was calling before I went to bed."

_"Alright baby. When are you coming home?"_

"We have this talk every time I call." I was smiling though trying not to let him hear it.

_"I know I know. Alright. Call Embry he has patrol in a little bit. We miss you around here."_

"I miss you too dad. I love you."

_"Love you too."_

I hung up and called Em.

_"Hey baby Nik. What's up?"_

"Nothing. Just my nightly call before bed."

_"Damn thought you were calling to say you were coming home."_

"Don't whine Em. I'll be home before you know it." I sighed like I always do. He broke up with Ashley when I left and hasn't seen anyone since. Hopefully he sticks to that when I get back,"What time are you off patrol?"

_"9 ish.I took Seth's shift so he could go to the bbq tonight."_

I would be there by then I think. I suck at time differences,"Ok i'll call you when I get up then."

_"Ok baby I love you."_

I got the dorkiest smile on my face,"I love you too Em."

I looked at the flight attendant,"Can he go any faster?"

"I'm sure we can arrange it."

"Thank you." I laid my head back to sleep and set my alarm for a few hours from now.

I woke up to Replay by IYAZ blaring for me alarm. I got up went pee and started doing my makeup.

"Two hours miss."

"Thank you." I was getting excited again doing my hair making sure I looked cute changing into my shorts a tank and my flip flops. So good to be going home. I put in my ipod putting it on random Monster by Skillet came on first. Love this song, it's Em's favorite not sure why but he says he relates alot to it, even though he says he loves being a wolf. I had my makeup perfect, left my hair down and curly and was shoving everything back into my purse as she told me to put on my seat belt for landing.

I ran off the plane not even waiting to hear the goodbyes. The crew was already rushing to get my bags into the car so we could leave.

I looked at my driver who winked with his golden eyes. Nice won't take as long this way.

"Seat belt Nikki."

I put it on and held on he drove even faster than Emmett does. We were in La Push driving through the tiny town before I knew it. I squealed slightly as he turned onto my road to the driveway. I was out the car and to the door before he even put it in park. No one was here though. They weren't in the house maybe out back.

"Just leave my bags there. Thank you." I whispered walking out the back door. Sure enough there was my whole huge family, except Embry, sitting around talking and laughing. I stood there a minute just watching taking in their faces. I've missed them all so much. I smiled at Alyssa when she looked over at me. It took her a minute before she jumped up.

"OH MY GOD!!" Running full force at me almost knocking me over when she reached me.

"I've missed you so much Aly." She was jumping in circles.

"You are so never leaving without me again."

"Me either." I was suddenly squished in a sandwich between my sisters.

"I won't." They finally let go and mom was next tears streaming down her face.

"Oh baby girl. Welcome home." You never notice the scent of someone could be so comforting until you're away from it for awhile.

"I've missed you mom." But what I really wanted was my daddy. I kissed my moms head before releasing her and flying into my dad's arms.

"Baby girl. Why didn't you tell me you were coming I would have came and got you."

"It's ok. I wanted to surprise you. Where's Em?"

"Patrol. Where's our hugs and shit?" Mikey was smirking at me damn I missed that.

After all the greetings and hugs were done I set down between my two boys Mikey and Seth. My mom shoved a plate in my face,"Eat. You're to damn skinny."

I rolled my eyes,"Fine." I missed her cooking she's the best.

"What the hell Alec keep you so preoccupied you forgot to eat?"

"What the fuck ever. He couldn't handle me." I winked at Ty who saw right through it.

"Quit talking to you huh?"

"See if you wouldn't give it up so quickly you wouldn't have that problem."

I laughed and punched Seth's leg,"Fuck you."

"Gladly." He barely whispered in my ear as he kissed my head, and here we go again.

"So what did you do in Volterra?"

I looked at Nessie,"Nothing really. Played video games with Emmett, ate, showered and read books Alice did the shopping for me."

She nodded and I knew she knew something. I'm so going to kill one of the Cullens. Speaking of which. I pulled out my phone and sent a message to Jasper letting him know I was here. I kept looking at the door expecting him to come out. It was 9:30 when I looked at my phone. He should be here by now. Not that I wasn't having fun with them but I wanted no needed to see my Embry.

"He's not coming here Nik."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I got up and ran through the woods down the path to his house. I saw him through the kitchen window dear god he was gorgeous but had black circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in forever. I sighed and waited for him to move as soon as he did I walked through the back door,"Em?" Nothing. Where the hell did he go? "Embry?" I walked around the corner to living room to see him laying on the couch eyes closed and a grin on his face. I chuckled,"Em?" His grin turned into a smile. Hm,"Emry." I called him that until three years ago, I couldn't say Embry when I was little so I called him Emry. That time his eyes opened and he looked up at me.

"You've never called me Emry in my dreams before."

I couldn't help it I laughed,"You aren't dreaming. I'm standing right here."

His eyes went wide before he flew off the couch sweeping me into his heat. I sighed as soon as his arms wrapped around me this right here is what i've wanted the last three months.

"You really are here?"

"Yep I got here earlier." I smiled the first smile that's reached my eyes since I left. Dimples and all.

"God i've missed that smile." I blushed which i've never done before with him.

"I've missed you period. Even your asshole tendencies."

"Whatever little bit. Come on i'm tired."

I smiled at him,"Have you slept at all while i've been gone?"

"Not really only a few hours. The dreams make the pain worse."

"Yeah I know." I looked down,"I'm sorry Em."

"Apologies later sleep now." He pulled me to his huge room upstairs and into his bed. I text Aly so she would tell dad what was happening. I was tired though. I squished as close as I could get to him no space between us at all before I fell asleep telling him I love him. That was the first night i've slept that good in a year. When i stopped staying with him. I was lying there listening to him snore when Seth walked in.

"Hey."

"Breakfast at your house get him up."

I barely rolled over when he was getting up. Shit you could wake him from the dead saying food. I looked at the clock 9. I stretched and getting up and jumped on Seth's back. Even though Ty's my best friend, and Mikey and Junior were my ex boyfriends. Seth is my other favorite wolf.

"Let's go." Embry ran down the stairs pulling his shirt on as he came down. Dear god he was even more ripped than any of the other guys. Seth went to put me down but I tightened my hold on him,"Em can deal. Stop growling." I moved Seth's hands back to my thighs and kissed his cheek right by his mouth.

He glared at me before walking out the door. What did he seriously think just because i'm back that i'm going to stop flirting with the other guys or stop hanging out with them? I don't think so. He's got me twisted if he honestly believes that.

I twisted my head so Em couldn't see my lips moving and barely whispered,"We need to talk." Into Seth's ear. He nodded slightly before walking into my house.

"Morning daddy." I kissed his cheek as Seth walked by him.

"Aren't you riding the wrong wolf Nik shouldn't you be on Em?" Leah was smirking at me, and of course I busted up laughing.

"Why should I only ride one when I can have two so easily?"

My mom's eyes went wide,"Nikolisa."

I shrugged before biting into a piece of bacon and almost choked when Mikey spoke up,"More like five anyways." My dad didn't actually know I slept with three of them.

"Five? Nikki?"

I smirked,"More than five. What can I say I get mine."

He chuckled shaking his head,"Do I even want to know?"

I shook my head no along with everyone else. He went back to sipping his coffee.

"You know Nik I think you should tell us who all you've been with in this room."

I rolled my eyes at Court,"Don't worry Court I haven't touched Brady or Collin."

That would have been just wrong they were spoken for. The wolves i've been with aren't yet well except Junior which I want to know when that happened and why the hell he didn't tell me.

"Since Junior isn't introducing me I will. My name's Rachelle."

"Nice to meet you."

"I've heard alot about you. Feel like I have alot to live up to."

"Oh trust me no offense but you can't be me. I'm the wolf princess and one day i'll be the queen." She just stared at me but it's true sure there's two packs but my mother is and will be the queen of the wolves until dad stops phasing. Embry will take over dad's pack once that time comes and when we get married i'll be the queen. I dropped my fork and my eyes went wide as that thought popped into my head. I can not believe I just thought about that.

"Nik." I looked to my mom.

"What? I'm being honest."

"You'll get use to it babe Nikki's a bitch." He smirked and threw his roll at me.

"Fuck you."

"Been there done that." He stuck his tongue out at me and wiggled it up and down.

"Prick."

"You know it but you love me anyways."

I nodded,"You know it."

Rachelle was staring at the both of us mouth dropped open,"You've been together?"

I snorted,"Sweetheart you will come to learn that there isn't an unimprinted wolf I haven't been with. Except Leah."

She shut her mouth and opened it again,"Why? Aren't you an imprint?"

"Yes. I'm Embry's. It's not a big deal really."

"So why aren't you with good enough?" All the girls gasped.

"Babe we don't talk about that."

I was pissed this bitch,"Please bitch i'm more than good enough. Ask Junior how good I am." I smirked and took a drink. She stormed out the house. Oh i'm a bitch but I know I got it like that.

"Nikki!"

I shrugged,"What? You know I don't take shit from no one."

"That's my girl." Leah was still laughing.

"You need to chill baby."

"Come on Em we got to go relieve Mikey and Ty."

"I'll see you later. Seth behave." He kissed my cheek before following uncle Jake out the back.

"Behave with what?"

"You're going with me to Seattle."

"Oh ok." I ran upstairs to shower and get ready. I ran back downstairs,"Alright i'm ready."

I followed Seth out to his car,"Alright what's up?"

"I need your help with something."

"What?"

"I had a miscarriage in Volterra. No it wasn't Alec's, but I need to find a way to get Jake alone before I tell Embry."

He was quiet for a minute,"How far along were you?"

"Five months."

He looked at me,"I thought you said you weren't with anyone after me?"

Yeah ok he's my third cousin I think but I was drunk get over it,"I couldn't say anything."

"Why?"

"Because he has an imprint."

"Who is it Nikki?"

I sighed,"I can't tell you yet. Just tell me how I can get him alone no Nessie no nothing."

"Call for a meeting with him. It's you Nikki he'll do whatever he can. He can't protect anyone from Embry though."

"Why not?"

"When the rule was made that another wolf could not approach or be with anothers imprint. It was said that the wolf of the imprint can do whatever he feels like to the other wolf. Including killing him beating him up whatever."

"So basically he's dead."

"I don't know Nik. Someone else except Embry got you pregnant. That in itself is beyond disrespectful not to mention just wrong. Tell me who it was Nikki?"

"I can't this is going to kill the family. I don't even know if I want to say anything."

"Why?"

"He's married."

He flipped a bitch,"What are you doing Seth?"

"Finding out who it was." He slammed his door shut and ran into the house. Shit fuck, fuck, fuck this is not good.

I ran into the living room,"WHO WAS IT?! WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS WAS IT?!"

"Seth please don't do this."

"No fuck this shit. I want to know who it was!"

No one had any clue what he was going off about,"Which one of the married wolves fucked Nikki?" Every ones eyes went wide and I could tell all the imprints were worried it was their husband.

"Nikki?"

Tears started coming,"I um had a miscarriage in Volterra. I was five months pregnant."

"What?!"

"Yeah. Look please don't do this. It was a horrible mistake and just please."

Dad was shaking but trying to calm himself,"Who was it?" I was looking at my feet not saying anything.

"Which one of you was it?!" Shit alpha tone even makes me stumble a little. Of course it wouldn't work because he isn't here.

"It was Jake Sam." I looked at Ness how the hell did she know? "Let's take a walk Nikki." She pulled me out of the house and up to the cliffs.

"How did you know?"

"Jake told me. I also know that he started it. Embry knows too, remember when they got into that fight?" I nodded,"That's what it was over."

"So what happened?"

"Embry didn't say anything because he knew you were just trying to do what Jake wanted. He knew when the time was right you would say something."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. The score is even now."

"You were with Embry?"

"Yes. Wolf for wolf, imprint for imprint."

I nodded,"Makes sense."

"You were five months right?"

I started crying,"Yeah. Carlisle said it was a boy."

"How did it happen?"

"The night we got to Volterra they took me to a club. I got drunk and Alec fucked me a little to hard. I miscarried the next day."

"Aunt Alice let that happen?"

"She said she didn't see it happening. She knew though that I was prego I mean."

"Why did she keep it from you?"

"I don't know. I didn't give her a chance to explain."

"I'm sorry Nik. I really am." She hugged me tight letting me cry on her shoulder.

"I'm so so sorry Nessie."

"Don't be its over with. You need to talk to Em and Jake though."

"I know. Can I ask you something totally off subject?"

She laughed,"Sure, sure."

"When did Jake's feelings for you change?"

"I was your age actually. Embry's feelings have already changed Nik. It happened before you even left he just won't admit it because he doesn't want to take away your teenage years. He thinks you should have your freedom to be with whoever you want. Even if it is the other wolves."

I snorted,"I've wanted him for the past year. I thought being with other wolves would make him jealous."

"Oh it does and they get their asses kicked believe me."

"So he does want me?"

"Of course I do baby." I jumped at his voice which made him and Jake laugh.

"What are you two doing out here?"

"Seth fucked up."

I laughed at the way Ness said fucked it was cute.

"What do you mean?" She looked at me and nodded.

"I had a miscarriage while I was in Volterra, and no it wasn't Alec's."

"It was mine then?" Jake sounded like he could cry.

"Yeah. Carlisle said it was a boy. I was five months."

"What the hell happened? Why did you miscarry?"

I looked down,"They took me to a club I got drunk, and Alec fucked me to hard. I miscarried the next night."

"Four months ago?"

"Yeah. I didn't want to say anything but I needed to talk to you and Seth flipped out and now everyone knows. My dad hates me now and I can't do anything right."

"How the hell did we not know you were pregnant?"

"I was on the shot I didn't know." Jake hugged me.

"I'm so sorry Nik." I felt even worse for him now everyone is pissed off at him. He laughed,"I can handle my own. Besides the one person that can actually do anything already knows and we've already had it out."

I nodded damn me and my none working filters,"Come on Ness we got damage control."

"Come here baby." Embry held open his arms and I went right into them,"How could you think I didn't want you?"

"Because you haven't."

"But i've told you every time we talked for the last four months."

"I know. Do you hate me for being with Jake?"

"Nah. I saw what happened. I can't hate you I love you. You're my baby girl."


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't want to go home yet so Embry set on the cliffs with me, until it got dark again,"Can I please stay with you tonight?"

He smirked,"Sure, sure. After we go talk to your dad."

I pouted,"Please?"

"Don't do that to me baby. You need to see him."

"Ok. Just stay here a little longer?"

"Sure." He pulled me into his lap,"Can I ask you something?"

"When has that ever stopped you?"

"I'm serious."

"Of course you can." I turned my head to look at him.

"Do you want kids?"

I shrugged,"Yeah I guess. I didn't really ever think about it before but I do. Do you?"

"Why does it matter if I do?"

I snorted,"Because i'm your imprint."

He smiled,"Oh yeah so eventually you want to be Mrs. Call?

I got the dorkiest grin,"Hell yes."

He laughed,"Good to know."

Of course it wouldn't be anytime soon but still someday I will be Mrs. Call,"So do you?"

"Do I what?"

I laughed,"Want kids Emry?"

"Oh shit yeah of course. Alec isn't coming back is he?"

I shook my head,"No they told him his mission was over. He doesn't have to."

"Why exactly did he quit talking to you?"

"Because I wouldn't tell him about Jake. Edward read my thoughts but didn't say anything. He got mad."

"How hard did he fuck you?"

"Pretty hard I was black and blue from head to toe. I don't remember the pain though I was that drunk."

"Damn Nik. I mean I had a feeling it would happen but shit that hard?"

"Yes. And no you can't kill him. That is my biggest fear I don't want you two fighting no matter what."

"I promise I won't fight him without good reason." Damn him and that sexy ass smirk.

"No no fighting at all period." He groaned,"Oh and no more fucking Nessie."

He bit my ear making me shiver,"That was once don't worry didn't like it."

I felt the jealousy build up,"No more talking about your sex life."

He laughed and pulled me up faster than I could blink,"Now you know how I feel all the god damn time."

"Yeah but you got to beat them up afterwards." I smirked.

"No Nik. You won't touch her."

I scowled and jumped out of his arms running through the front door of my house. I stopped in the doorway to the living room it was like everyone was waiting for me. Damn and here I thought waiting for dark they'd all be gone by now.

"Oh come on Nik it's not like you haven't done some fucked up shit before." Leah threw her arm around me,"Honestly I was expecting it to have been Paul." I had to bust up laughing when every one else nodded in agreement.

"See if you would been paying attention you would have known that it's Jared I actually have the hots for." Ok not as bad as I thought it would be I was expecting them to be really mad not joking with me.

"You can have him if you want him Nik."

"Hey!"

I laughed and walked over to dad,"I love you."

He kissed my head,"Love you too baby girl. Carlisle say you are ok?"

"Yeah i'm fine. He had me on antidepressants for awhile but i'm good now."

"Good we won't have to kill Alec then."

I rolled my eyes,"Is that all you guys think about is who you can kill next?"

"Hell yeah." Is mostly the answer I got.

"Nik you're going back to school on Monday."

I nodded figures but I do want to graduate and it is my senior year,"Shopping?"

Leah rolled her eyes,"Shit did I not teach you anything?"

"Hey just because i'm not butch like Court doesn't mean I can't kick some ass."

"Hey! That's not very nice." It's true though unlike me and Alyssa, Court was flatter than a pancake with no ass or hips shit the only reason you knew she's a girl is because she has long hair.

"Who told you i'm nice? Shit do you see who my godmother is? I had no hope in hell."

"That's my girl." Leah basically raised me I don't resent my mom at all for that. She was to busy taking care of Alyssa and Courtney when we were little in and out of hospitals all the time for anything and everything, and daddy was busy with pack stuff so Leah took care of me. Hints the reason i'm such a bitch.

"Em?" I used my puppy dog face on him which has never worked before.

"Yeah i'll take you." He pulled me down into his lap. No we aren't together but one day we will be.

Leah stood up to leave,"No bumping uglies in the back seat Nik."

I rolled my eyes,"Hell no you know how I am front pushed-"

"Don't even Nikki." Dad was shaking his head,"It's bad enough I have to see it from Mikey." I laughed as he shivered he always did say that's the one thing that he hated about being a wolf.

"You have two good daughters at least daddy." Alyssa batted her eyelashes at him and I rolled my eyes.

"You aren't fooling anyone. Remember Brady and Collin are in my pack." He eye balled them for a second before turning back on me. Everyone laughed as the four of them blushed.

"Can we please not talk about my daughters sex life. Which by what just happened to Nikki they shouldn't be having one because it looks like birth control doesn't work with wolves." I looked at the ground this sucks I was going to be a mom sure i'm young but I want a baby now more than anything. I would have made a good mom too.

"Sorry baby." She kissed my head before going to her room. Dad followed shortly after.

"I don't care if you stay with Embry tonight but I want you home tomorrow to help your mother with stuff for the bonfire."

"Ok daddy." He kissed my head and disappeared. I grabbed Embry's hand jumping off his lap and going out the door. I love my sisters but watching them with their imprints sucks.

"What were you thinking just then?"

"Nothing."

"You wanted him huh?"

"Who?" I was trying to be stupid but he saw right through it.

"Come on Nik you can tell me." I followed him into the living room flopping on the couch.

"I didn't even know I was pregnant Em, but now that I lost him when I would have had him already makes me sad. I would have made a great mom and I want a baby." He tensed for a minute but caught himself.

"Now?"

I nodded,"Yeah now. I know i'm young but I want one." I looked up at him he had a blank expression on his face but I could tell he was thinking. I waited for a minute just staring at him before he turned to look at me.

"This is something you really want?" I bit my lip and nodded,"Then you'll get it."

He picked me up and carried me upstairs to his room laying me down gently. He leaned over me and I felt this shock run through me for the first time. He stared at me and the way he was looking at me made me smirked and bent down kissing me lightly at first. My head was spinning with so many emotions but I felt myself getting wet and he barely kissed me. He growled and deepened the kiss. It became urgent like he needed it more than anything. His hand that was on my neck moved slowly down my chest and made light work of my shorts and thong. How the hell did he just do that with one hand? Oh fuck I moaned into his mouth as he slipped two fingers into me. He broke away from the kiss trailing down my neck biting and sucking sure enough i'm going to have a hickey if not many. I sucked in a big breath of air as his tongue flicked over my clit, and cried out when he bit down on me. His tongue was awesome but I wanted his dick more than anything.

"Em please?"

He was still pumping his fingers in and out of me,"Please what baby?"

"I want you--in mee." I ended up getting out between moans, and whimpered when he was gone. I watched as he stripped his clothes off holy fuck me! My eyes widened at his size. He's definitely the biggest wolf i've been with.I laid back as he climbed over me again.

"Fuck." We both moaned at the contact and he stilled while I adjusted to him. I wanted more though so I wiggled my hips around. He fucked me for what seemed like hours before he stilled in me his seed was hot. I looked at the clock while yawning. Holy shit he had fucked me for hours. 3 am and ten is coming quick.

"Sleep baby. I love you."

"I love you too." He pulled me to him and wrapped his huge arms around me and I slept so good. I woke up to him sucking on my neck. I moaned and stretched arching my back into him.

"Sorry baby have to wait until tonight." He kissed the spot he was sucking on,"Just marking what's mine."

"But please really quick?"

He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth before flipping us over and shoving himself into me.

He smacked my ass as I got up to go pee,"Hurry up I have to have you to yours in a half hour." I pulled my clothes up into a ball and shut the door. I used my spare toothbruch threw my hair up and put on my clothes.

"Ready?"

I fit perfectly into his side,"I guess so. My dad's going to flip when he sees these you know right?"

"I'm sure he will." I jumped on his back and he ran back to my house stepping through the back door.

"Morning!"

"In here baby girl." We walked into the kitchen where everyone was around the table our seats open. Daddy's fork dropped and he started shaking as soon as he saw my neck.

"Sam?" My looked at me and gasped,"Nikki?"

I shrugged,"I'm his imprint."

"But normally a wolf doesn't mark his imprint until he is trying to get her pregnant." Mom's fork dropped then leave it to fucking Kim.

"Why the hell is my sex life always the topic at breakfast?! I mean shit yes I get it i'm a slut to you guys but fuck let it go already!" Every one looked at me before going back to eating i'm not playing i'm tired of them bringing up my sex life every time I see them. I pushed my plate away from me and ran up to my room.

I put my ipod in its dock and blasted Sex is on Fire by Kings of Leon jumping in the shower and relaxing. I love my family but I don't get why my sex life is always brought up? Can't I be happy with what i'm doing and leave it at that? I'm his imprint it's not like he's going to get me pregnant and leave me. Right? No of course not that's not my Emry.

I was blow drying my hair and singing along with Follow Me by Uncle Kracker. Love this song.

"Baby girl?" Mom and dad walked in and set down on my bed.

"Yeah?"

"Are you trying to get pregnant?"

I looked to my dad,"The truth?" He nodded,"Yes. I want a baby dad.I almost had one and now I want nothing else."

"Aren't you doing this a little backwards baby? Shouldn't you marry Embry first before the baby?"

"Why? He's mine for life not like he's going anywhere and neither am I. I think from the way my neck looks he made that clear to all of you." I put my hair brush down and looked at them both,"It's not like i'm going to pregnant right away. And daddy don't beat up Embry."

He shook his head,"Listen baby girl normally I don't tell you how to run your life but this time I do need to tell you to becareful. A kid is a huge thing, I know Em's ready for it but are you?"

I nodded,"Dad I want this."

"Ok. I don't approve of it but I can't stop you. You have the infamous Uley hard headedness." He kissed my head but the smile didn't reach his eyes like it normally does and I know that i've disappointed him alot over the past two days but this is what I want and I turn eighteen in three weeks anyways they might as well just let me be.

"I'll tell you baby if you want to get pregnant let Embry control everything. He will know when you need to and listen to him. Even if you're tired or don't want it do it anyways remember that." She was whispering so they wouldn't hear us,"I can't wait to be a grandma." See and I thought she would have freaked out already. Everyone knows that i'm not like Courtney or Alyssa I don't want to go to college or move away from La Push. I want to be Queen of the wolves and raise a bunch of wolf babies with my wolf and soulmate. I followed her back downstairs getting ready to start cooking. Embry set me down on his lap and I curled up he was so warm like my own personal heating pad.

"Alright we were saving this for when you guys finally got together and all though Em's marked you, we feel like you need the wolf girl mark." Kim handed me my wolf necklace.

"Thank you." I snapped it around my neck for some reason this is what being a wolf girl is all about sure only we know what it is but it's our way for the others to know we're proud of our wolves and what they do.

"Out Embry."

"Alright, alright i'm going." He kissed me lightly leaving me wanting more before walking out the back door to the garage where the boys hide out until twelve and they all go for their run.

"Alright spill." I looked at Leah like she was fucking crazy,"Oh come on."

I smiled,"It was awesome."

"I bet it was Ty and I could hear you in the woods."

"As if Em doesn't have a big enough head as it is. Just wait until he hears about that." They always do this when an imprint is marked by her wolf I don't mind though we need something to talk about.

"He won't get it from me that's for damn sure, and Ty isn't in our pack so it's safe for now."

I smiled and started cutting up strawberries and bananas for the salad. I wasn't really paying attention to half the things they were talking about I was just happy for once I got what I wanted. It went on like that all day me not paying them any mind just fixing stuff to eat.

"Nikolisa!" Mom was standing hand on her hip staring at me.

"I'm sorry momma what?"

"Take this out to the garage." She handed me a tiny cooler like thing that was full of alcohol.

"Ok."

"Stay out there why don't you." She was mad I could tell but I don't know what I did wrong? I walked through the door to the garage and set down the cooler.

"Nik?"

"What?"

"You ok?" Did I look bad or something?

I nodded,"I'm going to go for a run. Mom doesn't want me in the kitchen anymore."

I turned and walked back to the house going up the outside stairs to Court's room and across to mine. I grabbed my ipod and tennis shoes before running back down the same stairs and towards the main road. I was blaring Halfway Gone by Lifehouse so loudly I couldn't hear anything and that's just how I wanted it. I don't know what's wrong with me but for some reason I just wanted time alone. I ran to Forks before turning around and going back.

I jumped when I heard someone honk a horn behind me. I pulled out one ear bud still running,"Hey! Want a ride?!"

"No i'm good." He swerved quickly in front of me. Oh hell no fuck this shit. I pushed the speed dial two button on my phone in my pocket.

"Come on you know you want to." He was stepping closer and closer.

"Dude if you don't get the fuck away from me I swear to god you're going to be sorry." I was pissed already and looking for a fight.

He touched my cheek and I punched him straight in the nose and of course I smiled when I heard the bone break. I picked up my phone as I moved around his car to run home,"Never mind I handled it."

I was proud of myself I actually broke some assholes nose. I ran back to the house to shower before the bonfire and Em was waiting in the drive way,"What happened?"

"Some guy tried to get me to go with him so I broke his nose. I handled it." I kissed his cheek before going to shower. I didn't feel like getting ready so I just put on jogging pants and one of Embry's sweatshirts from before he phased which was still huge on me.

Leah came in my room as I was putting my shoes on,"Everyone's gone. I figured we could talk."

I sighed she knows me better than anyone,"Have you ever felt like someone was doing something only because you want them to?"

"I have yeah. Why?" I moved cross legged to face her on my bed.

"I feel like Em's only doing this because I want him to."

She shook her head,"No Nik. That's not Em and you know it. If that was the case you would have been together a year ago when you wanted to be."

"True. I just don't want to feel like i'm pushing this on him."

"Talk to him. It's the only way you're going to get over your fears."

"I know."

"What else is wrong?"

"I feel like i'm letting dad down."

"Why?"

"Because Leah i'm not like Aly or Court i'm the fuck up of the family."

"Hell no you're not. Why the fuck would you think that?"

"Because Lee even though he told me not to i've convinced every unimprinted wolf to fuck me. Then on top of that I fucked a married wolf and got pregnant by him, ran off to Volterra with a bunch of vampires fucked one of them and then had a miscarriage because I got to drunk and let him fuck me so hard I was bruised all over. Then I come home and convince Em to get me pregnant so I can have a baby."

"You're just trying to find yourself Nik. We all know that but it seems like you have."

"I want to be mom. I don't want to leave La Push I want to marry Em and have a bunch of kids running around and take care of the pack like she does."

"That's not a fuck up Nik. Don't ever doubt yourslef I always taught you better than that. There is nothing wrong with a girl being strong in her sexuality. You're hot and you know it that's all there is to it. Now dry those eyes we have a bonfire to go to."

She pulled me up and out the house. We weren't in any hurry to get there though even though I wanted to see Embry more than anything.

"Remember talk to him tonight. You'll find out everything you want to know and then some." She kissed my cheek before going over to Seth and Richie. Sure he wasn't her imprint but she loved him just as much.

I sat down on a log by Nessie and watched Em play football. God he was so gorgeous.

"You ok Nik?"

"Yeah i'm fine. Do I look weird or something?"

"No. You just aren't your normal made up self."

I shrugged,"Didn't really feel like it."

She put her hand on my arm showing me a picture of how I looked in the kitchen this morning like a zombie sort of. And I felt her pull the thoughts from my head on everything I was thinking about.

"I felt like that alot growing up." There's no point in whispering no one was paying attention anyways,"My mom always told me everytime I started feeling like that to just take a look around at all the people that love me unconditionally no matter how bad I fuck up." We both took a look around the beach at everyone from our huge family and that is true not once has anyone turned their backs on me not even Ness and I fucked her husband.

"Thanks Ness."

"Sure, sure."

We all got quiet when dad cleared his throat,"So tonight this bonfire is a little different from the normal end of summer bashes we have." I could see he was trying so hard not to tear up, but that made me tear up my daddy was stepping down,"I've decided that it's time for me to grow old with my wife. Embry will take over as Alpha starting now."

I looked to Em who already had the alpha look to him and even I felt the change in the air.

Uncle Paul was next,"I'm out too." He set back down and I knew what was coming. All of the wolves that have been wolves for eighteen years now are stopping. Jared, Leah, Quil and Seth all stood up. I can't imagine Seth not being a wolf anymore but I guess he thinks it's time. They all nodded and set back down.

It was Jake's turn,"Since you all know most of my pack is stopping that leaves me with only four other wolves. Riley and Marcus will be joining Em's pack, my son's will still be with me but we're moving again. It's time unfortunately."

My eyes went wide I didn't see that coming. Wow this is all happening so fast they all stopped phasing then Jake and Ness are leaving.

"Nikolisa pay attention." I shook the thoughts out of my head and looked back at Embry he looked overwhelmed so I got up and took his hand in mine. He's ready for this and he'll do great. He kissed my hand and smiled down at me. I looked to my baby brothers and the younger boys who I knew would be phasing soon, like replacing the ones that just left. I wasn't paying attention on what was being said by daddy I know I should be but all I could think about was how I just want to be laying in bed Em on top of me.

"Baby chill out." He kissed my temple after whispering to me.

"Sorry." I looked down at me feet that were suddenly the most important thing to me. I walked over to the cooler I need to chill out.

"Hi Nik."

I bent down and kissed Billy's cheeks he was getting older but still young at heart,"Hey Billly. How are you?"

"I'm doing ok. How you doing with all of this?"

I nodded,"I'm ok. A little overwhelming all of them stepping down at once."

He agreed,"It is. It'll be even more weird to you when they start aging again."

I grinned,"I can't wait to tease Lee about her grey hair."

He laughed,"It's nice to see you without all the extras."

"Thank you. So far you're the only one that hasn't asked me if i'm sick."

He shook his head,"It's just because we aren't use to seeing you without it unless you are sick."

"True i'm a little too wrapped up in it sometimes."

He shrugged,"Rachel was the same way. I would ask how things are coming with Em but I can already see they're good." He winked at me which made me smile.

"So far they are. I will admit i'm still getting use to it though."

"I can see why. You were so use to the other boys being all over you now things have changed."

I felt that too I don't want them like that anymore. I only want Em,"It all happened so quick. A few months ago I was dead set against being with him but now he's all I want."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder my dear. Your mother was right once again, all you needed was time apart."

She was,"She's great."

"You feel it don't you?" I looked down at him with a questioning look right now i'm feeling alot of things, "That the pack is changing? Other than the fact of the elder wolves stepping away."

"Oh... yeah.... It's not a great feeling though."

"How so my dear?"

I sighed,"I can't explain it."

"Try. I won't judge you."

I nodded,"I don't like the feeling that the elder wolves are being replaced by the younger ones."

"All things change but nothing is extinguished. Learn to embrace change my dear, it's a very good thing."

I nodded he has a point it'll just take awhile to get use to the fact that they aren't my protectors anymore.

"They will always be your protectors Nik wolves or not."

I grinned,"Me and my stupid none working filters."

He laughed,"You have your moments, but that is why we love you so much."

"Thank you. I love you too Billy."

"Anytime. Come by the house tomorrow I want to give you something."

"Ok. I will." I kissed his cheek before walking back to the circle.

"Nik?" Dear god who the hell? I turned around to see Marcus.

"Hey Marcus. Haven't seen you in awhile."

He smirked, what the hell is it with these damn wolves and their smirks,"Your fault not mine."

"True. What's up?"

"Your coming back to school monday right?"

"Yep unfortunately why?"

"I was wondering if you would help me with my math?"

"Yeah of course. I don't have to wait until monday to do that though."

"I have patrol until tomorrow night."

"It's ok really."

"You sure?" It's his homework like I figured.

I looked at him,"Yeah just come by when your done and i'll help you with it."

He hugged me,"You're a life saver my mom would kill me if my grade slipped again."

I laughed,"It's no big deal." I helped him last year too sure we don't hang out much but he's one of the boys and I would do anything for them. I set down waiting for Embry to finish talking with Sue and Charlie.

"I'm all yours tomorrow. Shopping?"

Shit I totally forgot,"Tomorrow morning? I just have to go by Billy's first and be back before Marcus is off shift."

"For what?"

"I'm helping him with his math."

He kissed my head,"School on Monday?"

"Yeah. When are you off again?"

"I'm not sure yet baby."

I shrugged,"Ok."

He kissed me lightly,"Come on let's dance."

I didn't even notice the music that was playing a little ways down. He pulled me into his side and kissed my head, I love this between us now like he's all I need. The song playing made me want to cry as we danced Everything by Lifehouse. It's the song every imprint chooses for her wedding.**(Love this song). **Em knew my favorite part

You won't let me fall  
You still my heart  
And you take my breath away  
Would you take me in  
Would you take me deeper now

And he whispered them into my hair I love his voice I was crying by the end of the song.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Makes sense why they choose this song now."

He smiled,"Yeah it's a beautiful song."

"Nikki! You should sing you haven't in forever!" I heard one of them yell from back at the fire.

"I don't have Jasper."

"I can play Nik." She reached under the table and pulled out one of Jasper's guitars. Of course she would.

I sighed and walked over to sit by her. She showed me my song and I tilted my head to the side. _Just sing all of it. _I shrugged and nodded. I closed my eyes and I started thinking of how I felt when I played this song so many times before.

_Picture perfect memories Scattered all around the floor_

_Reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one i'm all alone and I need you now, said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now._

_Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door._

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time._

_It's a quarter after one, i'm a little drunk and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call,_

_but I lost all control and I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now._

_Whoa Whoa. Yes i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all._

_It's a quarter after one. I'm all alone and I need you now._

_And I said I wouldn't call, but i'm a little drunk and I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now. I just need you now._

_Oh baby I need you now._

Mom was crying,"Is that what you would be playing all the time when you called?"

I nodded,"Yeah. Aro got tired of it. Why are you crying?"

"Because you are."

I touched my cheek didn't even realize I was I wiped them away,"Sorry."

I looked around at all the imprints who were crying,"We all know how it feels Nik."

Embry wrapped his arms around my waist laying his head on my shoulder kissing my cheek,"You were never playing this one when you called me."

"Because I didn't need you as much when we were talking."

"Oh I see. That's why you called so much?"

"Yes. Don't try and act like you didn't miss me."

"I'm not. I did miss you if it wasn't for Jake I would have came and got you the night you left."

I felt a ping of sadness run through he had then I would have had the baby but everything happens for a reason.

"Sing another one."

"I can't play anything else she knows."

Thank god for that. I hate singing in front of them well anyone really.

We stayed at the beach almost all night until the elders started leaving.

"Let's go." I jumped on his back as he walked through the woods to his house,"What are you afraid of?"

Shit I forgot he had super wolf senses,"I hate the woods at night. Like the boogy man's gonna jump out and get me."

He laughed,"Babe i'm a wolf I won't let anything get you."

I squished myself closer to him when I heard a twig snap,"Chill it's just Jake and Ness."

"Sorry Nik. Didn't mean to scare you." I could hear Jake laughing somewhere off to my left.

"Fuck you Jake! Next time we take the long way."

He shook his head laughing,"Ok we'll take the long way."

I breathed a sigh of relief when we stepped into his backyard and slid off his back. I shivered involuntary at the cold that came. I stripped off my hoodie when we got inside and threw it on the couch.

"Movie?" He was holding up 30 days of night.

"Sure." I plopped down in the middle of his sectional and pulled a pillow into my lap. Sure the movie isn't all that scary but the blood kind of gets to me.

He laid down next to me putting his head in my lap and of course I started playing with his hair on instinct,"It's been awhile."

"Yeah I know." He was facing the tv and I don't really know....ok I do know why I was crying. I hate the fact that she did all of the same shit i'm doing now she had him before I did and played with his hair too when I wasn't around. Luckily he can't see my face.

"Why you crying?"

Shit man does he know everything,"It's nothing i'm just being stupid."

"Nothing's stupid. What's wrong?" He set up and took my face in his hands wiping away my tears.

"Just she had you first you know. She did all the things we've done and then some."

He sighed and ran his hand over his face and through his hair,"Baby it didn't mean anything I swear."

"Than why did you tell her you loved her?"

"If you want to know I was thinking about you." I rolled my eyes,"I was. That's the only way I could get a release. It wasn't her."

"Then why would you be with her?"

"Because you didn't want me."

It was my turn to sigh,"Of course I did Em. You were already with her when I did so I just backed off. Figured you would be happier with her anyways."

"That's not 're my imprint Nik I don't want anyone else. You're all I see. But that's not all is it?"

I shook my head,"I feel like you're only doing this because it's what I want not want you want."

"Were not listening to what I just said? Of course I want you--"

"I meant getting me pregnant Em."

"You aren't forcing me baby. I want kids we had this conversation last night."

"Yeah I know but I felt you tense when I told you at first."

"Just accept the fact that you aren't forcing me and leave it at that baby." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at him, he changed the subject,"Why do you need to go to Billy's for?"

"Not sure he said he needs to give me something."

"And the Marcus thing?"

"I don't know he asked me tonight if I could help him with his math and I told him I would." I shrugged.

"You've never been one for him."

"We hang out at school all the time but I never see him other than that."

"I always thought you were with Ty or Mikey."

I laughed,"Nope Ty's always with Michela who doesn't like me for obvious reason, and Mikey is surrounded by girls. I was with Junior, Marcus, and Riley."

He raised his eyebrow at me,"Why doesn't like you?"

"Oh come on Em. You beat his ass when you found out he was with me. She tried just didn't work out so well. She hurt her hand when she slapped me."

"He told her?"

"She asked at lunch one day cause he hugged me and spun me around a little. She freaked and was asking everyone so he finally told her."

"Feel better? No more tears ok?"

I rolled my eyes,"So not promising anything. I've cried alot today."

"So I saw. I like you better without all your makeup."

"Don't get use to it at all."

We laid down to finish the movie before he took me on the couch. Me on top is almost even better shit that was awesome.

"So you going to trust me right?"

"Yep. Mom told me today to let you handle it."

"She learned the hard way."

"I don't think i'll have a problem with not wanting you."

I could see his ego getting bigger. I rolled my eyes and went to shower,"Em?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Will you bring me a shirt?"

He threw a shirt to me. I love wearing his shirts they smell like him. I laid down and made sure he set the alarm so I could get up early.

I woke up to an annoying beeping shit so not looking forward to that again. I got up and did my morning shit. Where the hell is Em? I walked down stairs and found the note on the counter.

_Sorry baby had to go fix something, shoppings out today. I'll see you tonight._

_Love Em._

That's fine I have to get use to this I guess. I locked the door with my key and started towards Billy's house. I knocked on the broken red door and heard the squeaking of his floors.

"Hey Nik. Come on in."

"Sorry it's kind of early."

"It's ok really I was expecting you earlier. Aren't you going shopping today?"

"No. Embry had something to take care of something so its not happenning today."

"Ah I see well come sit down. I'll be right back."

I use to love to ride on his lap down hills it was so much fun. I smiled when he came rolling back into the room.

"I wanted to give you this." He handed me a beautiful heart necklace on a silver chain.

"It's gorgeous but what's this for?"

"You are the new alpha female."

I squealed lightly,"No way! I'm the wolf queen?"

He laughed,"Yes that you are."

"Thank you so much! I love it!" I put the necklace around my neck.

"It belonged to Em's mom. She decided you should have it when you become the queen as you call it."

That was a sad day in La Push when Em's mom died. I was ten, she died in a car wreck and was flung from the car. It almost killed him and I didn't know how to be strong for him because she was like a second mother to me outside of the pack.

"Why me?"

"She knew Nik, and she would be happy you are his imprint you make him happy."

"Why do you have it though?"

He looked away for a minute,"Ask Em."

"Ok." Just then Charlie's cruiser pulled into the driveway,"Fishing huh?"

"You know it."

"Have a good time. Thank you so much again for the necklace."

"Anytime sweetheart." I kissed both of their cheeks and went out the door. I took the long way home and could feel Seth and Jake following me from the woods. What the hell? Seth shouldn't be phasing anymore. I looked over to the woods and sure enough there was my second and third favorite wolves walking at the same pace I was. I started making my way to them and they stopped.

"What the hell Seth?" He whimpered shaking his head.

Jake went behind a tree,"Nik you need to go to your parents and stay there all the other imprints are there waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Tell me why."

"Because we just have a little problem right now."

"The problem would be what exactly?" I knew he wasn't telling me something and I want to know.

"It's Em you gotta ask not me."

Oh one of these things again that he'll never tell me,"Fine tell Embry not to come around and tell him he better let Marcus go so I can help him with his homework or else." I growled and stalked off towards my house. I saw my wolf from the corner of my eye before I walked into the house.

"Nik? What's going on?"

"I don't know. The wolves are about to piss me off though." I seriously wonder what the fuck is going on.

"What's the matter?"

"Everyone always says ask Em he's the one to tell you. It's like what the fuck just fucking tell me."

"They don't want to tell you because they don't think you want to know."

"Not in the mood Ness. If you know just tell me."

"We saw Ashley in town with a pretty big baby bump."

My vision went red as I flew out the door. What more can I fucking handle right now? I ran to my cliff where only Ty and Mikey know where it is. Sure they could follow my scent but they won't. I picked up my pace and flung myself off the side spiraling to the water below. I let the cold numb me as soon as I hit.

"NikNik!" I looked up to see my TyTy standing at the shore waiting for me. I swam in and walked right into his arms,"What the hell are you doing?"

"I can't go beating a pregnant woman's ass now can I?"

"We don't even know if it's Em's she won't talk to him."

"So it takes a whole fucking pack for that? And why the fuck---" I took a deep breath he's only doing what Em wants him to do,"Never mind." I was already dry so I took off yet again.

I opened my cell at the text I got from Alice.

_Go to the spot._

I smiled of course I totally forgot about that place this is the one place they don't know and my scent will go in every direction. I took off as fast as I could to the spot my godfather would take me to get away.I need time to myself for awhile.

I pulled my knees to my chest and just cried. I know I shouldn't be so pissed but I am. She's getting the one thing that I want more than anything in the world from the one person I want it from. I did the same thing to him but I lost mine and I know it's wrong but I wanted nothing more than for her to lose hers too. My phone went off in my pocket.

"Hello?"

_"Is this Nikki?"_

"Yeah who the hell are you?"

_"Ashley. We need to talk."_

"Why do you want to talk to me?"

_"I just need to. Can you come to my house?"_

"No i'll meet you at the beach."

_"That works. Ten minutes?"_

"Sure." Great just fucking great now i'm going to have to try even harder not to fuck this bitch up. I sighed and pushed myself off the ground. I paid no mind to the wolves searching for me and before I stepped out of the woods to the beach,"I swear to god if any of you step foot on this beach while i'm here I will fuck all of you up! That goes for you too Embry back the fuck up and leave us alone she wants to talk to me not you!"

I heard the groans and the whimpers as I stepped onto the beach. I saw the baby bump Ness was talking about and tried not to cry.

"Thanks for coming."

"Sure. What do you need to talk to me about?"

She pointed to her stomach,"Obviously you can see i'm pregnant. 5 months to be exact, it's a boy."

I tensed trying to keep the tears at bay even more,"Good for you. Is it his?"

"Straight to the point. Yeah it's his."

"Ok. Well you need to talk to him." I went to get up.

"Wait Nikki. I know you're with him now. I didn't ask you here just to tell you he's his. You'll be his step mom so I want you to be ok with this too."

The tears spilled over at that point,"I can't. I won't make a big deal about it but right now this is the hardest thing for me to sit here and take. You know I was pregnant not by Emry of course but anyways I was five months when I miscarried four months ago."

She gasped,"I'm so sorry I had no idea! I wouldn't have asked you here if I knew that."

"It's ok no one knew. I'm happy for you though. You should really talk to Em."

She nodded,"I will. Did you want to be there?"

"No this is between you and him. Listen I have something I have to go take care of. If you need anything you have my number now." I got up and walked the opposite direction of the beach. I let the tears flow freely and waited for the sound of her car to pull away before I let out a gut wrenching scream, my heart was breaking all over again. I fell down and curled into a ball just crying. They all knew I just wanted to be left alone this is something I have to deal with on my own. I laid there til dark.

"Baby girl?"

"Go away Em."

"Nik don't do this. Don't shut me out."

"I'm not just right now I can't take this. Go talk to her."

"I already have. "

He didn't get it,"So go talk some more."

"Nik I swear I didn't--"

"Please don't?" Yes I was whining but,"I can't do this right now. I have nothing left you get that right?" I unclasped my necklace from behind my neck,"Keep it. I don't want it."

"Where'd you get this?"

"That's what Billy wanted to give me this morning for being the alpha female. Right now I don't want it." I put it into his hand and got up.

"I'm sorry Nik."

"I know it's not even about you getting her pregnant Em it's not because I was pregnant by someone else. But it's the fact that she gets what I wanted so badly. It's the fact that your first kid won't be mine too, and the fact that I don't have mine." I wiped the tears away.

"I can't change it Nik if I could I would. If I could take it all back I would."

I sniffled,"But you can't that's the point. I wish I could too but I accept my past and embrace it. You have a son coming be happy with that."

"I can't be happy unless you're by my side."

I touched his cheek and turned away. I can't give him my answer. I picked up my speed as I saw the familiar car in the driveway.

"Hey darlin'.I thought you could use my help." He grasped me tightly in his arms and held me as I cried.

"I can't deal with this right now."

He smoothed my hair,"I know sweet pea. Everyone's back at the house well except Bella, Edward, Alice and Alec."

I was glad he wasn't here I couldn't deal with that,"Can we just go?"

"Nik?"

I turned to see Em standing there.

"I assumed you've spoken with Billy?"

"Yes. My pack will stay on our side of the treaty line as long as Nik wants us too."

"Where's my dad?"

"Inside. I already told him himself and the wolves that have stepped down are an exception they are welcome to come see you at anytime." I climbed into the passenger seat I knew what he meant by help. I was going back on the meds but right now I would welcome the help.

"You alright baby?"

"No. Why Jasper?" He knew what I was asking.

"I don't know. I will tell you this though. Your choice has not been made yet. You think it has but this isn't over."

"I kind of figured that out when you didn't help me chose in Volterra."

He grinned at me,"You're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

"Shit I have school tomorrow."

He nodded,"Yes but i'm your teacher now. We know this isn't going to be easy for you so we've moved back. Carlisle is working in a near by town to keep our home coming a secret for now."

"Ok. I won't tell anyone."

He nodded,"So she told you huh?"

I snorted,"Yeah he didn't even have the balls to tell me himself."

"Jake huh?"

I rolled my eyes,"Can we not talk about it?" I really just want to close everything up where no one will no my pain. Become a zombie so to speak.

"We can wait to get to the house. The whole family is dying to know about that one."

I nodded and looked out the window. I felt his cold hand grasp mine and I welcomed the tears once again. He didn't try and calm me just let me cry. I was scooped out of the car in a big bear hug before I could even get the seat belt undone.

"Hi Em."

"Can I kill him?"

I sniffled and laughed,"No."

"Dammit!" He put me down on the couch next to Esme.

"Nik i'm going to do my best to let you feel everything but if I gets to much for me you know i'll calm you." I nodded damn didn't think we'd go right off the bat.

"Tell me what you're feeling Nikki."

I got use to this he would have Jasper there but wanted to see if I would be truthful,"Empty, depressed, angry, pissed off, alone, and kind of hungry."

Esme smiled at me before going to the kitchen with Rose. I looked back at Emmett and waited for his next question.

"Why pissed off?"

"Because she's getting what I want from who I want it from. Pissed off because no one told me I was pregnant. I don't understand why something like that would be kept from someone. I want my baby. I don't want to play step mom to a kid that I hate."

"Hate's a strong word."

"I know but right now that's what I feel. My kid died Em because I was stupid and didn't know. Her kid is still growing and more then likely will keep growing."

"Nikki."

"I won't lie I wanted to but it's not her fault, and I didn't want her to feel this pain you know."

"Uh huh. So alone why?"

"Because he's happy. He tried to hide it but he's excited that she's pregnant I saw it in his eyes, and I want so badly to be supportive because he forgave me but I can't."

"Why not?"

I started crying,"Because I want that. I want to be the one to make him happy. I want to be the one that has his baby first and the only one to give him kids but now it's not going to happen."

"Have you told him that?"

"No. I don't even want to see him right now."

"I understand why."

It went on for hours me talking and of course crying my eyes out to my second family.

"I want nothing more than to just close off be a zombie sort of."

"You can't that's why you're staying here."

"I'm going to bed." I got up and went into Jasper's room where I always stay and curled up in his bed.

I woke up to the sound of him playing his guitar,"Morning Nik."

I grunted making him laugh,"Get up shower, and come down stairs you start meds today."

Yippee.


	5. Chapter 5

I took my meds like a good girl and ate breakfast but I could feel myself closing off, shutting down like I didn't want to exist anymore. To be honest I didn't, how do you live with the fact knowing some other woman is making your soul mate a father for the first time and that it's a boy? How do you get over that? How was it so easy for Embry to forgive me for getting pregnant by Jake? Was it because I miscarried?

"Nikolisa?!" I jumped at the sound of Esme's voice. I turned to look at her and saw her eyes filling with tears she'll never shed,"My sweet girl, are you hungry?"

I shook my head no not wanting to talk afraid the tears would spill if I opened my mouth.

"Ok i'm here if you need me." I nodded and looked back out the huge window.

I won't give in to the pull that makes my heartache for him. I refuse to go back and pretend like everything is ok like a good imprint and stand beside him even when i'm dying inside. If I only would have done things differently when he told me about the imprint, maybe if I would have told him how I truly felt this never would have happened. I thought I was doing the right thing by making him happy when I told him I didn't care if he dated someone. I never in a million years pictured something like this happening, and it's not like he won't have anything to do with the baby. I mean not only can the baby phase, but that's just not Embry, he grew up without a dad so he wouldn't do that. Plus who would I be to ask him to do that? Of course the jealous part of me wants nothing more than to do that, but I was raised better.

I wiped my eyes as my phone started vibrating I sniffled before hitting the reject button and sent it straight to voicemail. I don't want to talk I just want to be left alone. Do I expect that from my family? Hell no if anything they'll bug me until I talk but the thing is there is nothing left to say. Nothing left to give i'm empty and broken. My phone beeped letting me know I had a voicemail but I don't want to listen. The last thing I want is to hear the heart break in my mom's voice. This is the second time i've turned my back on my family because of some shit that happened with time I guess it's more because it's like saying I turned my back on the pack, and in a way I did.

"NikkiNik?" I jumped didn't even hear him come in,"Don't shut yourself off scream, hit, kick do something." I shook my head the pain hurts to bad to do anything,"I'm not Eddie boy I can't read minds Nik. You have to talk to me." I turned in my chair to stair back out into the woods. He huffed and walked away,"You try."

My godfather I shut myself off this is my pain my burden to bare not his,"I really wish you wouldn't do that. I felt your pain before I even came up here." I shrugged it's not really his choice it's mine,"Nikki, I know your upset but you can't do this. It's not healthy keeping all of this bottled up inside." I rolled my eyes,"I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

I got up and went into the bathroom to take a long hot bath. He's going to be sitting there for a very long time because i'm not talking.

A week went by I take my meds but that's it I don't play games with Emmett fuck I don't leave my room at all I just want to waist away no one would notice anyways right?

**Three Weeks Later**

The pain has only gotten worse and nothing helps. I can't eat it all comes back up, i've lost like 10 pounds and I was already tiny to begin with. I don't sleep cause I dream and when I dream it's always of Embry. I don't do anything really except my school work and i'm almost done with that even. A chapter left in each subject than i'm done. Embry doesn't call anymore just texts me the same thing everyday.

_I love you and i'm here if you need me._

Of course I need him but I don't want him and his baby just him. Yeah i'm being selfish but really?

"Nikki?" I looked up to Carlisle,"Can I come in?"

I nodded and watched him walk to the chair across from me,"I think I know why you can't keep anything down."

Great here we go more shit problems. I waited for him to go on but he didn't I sighed,"Why?"

"Your pregnant."

My face dropped what the fuck? This can not be happening,"What?"

"When I took blood yesterday I had a feeling the medication wasn't the cause it so I looked for pregnancy and sure enough you are."

"Great."

"You have choices Nikki."

I shook my head,"That's not happening."

He nodded,"I figured you would say that. Esme is changing your diet hopefully we will find some foods that don't upset your stomach."

"Ok. I know we're going to the beach tonight but please don't tell anyone."

"We won't it's up to you to. Is it his?"

I snorted,"Yeah. How do you think he'll handle that one. Ashley six months pregnant and me what a month?"

"Six weeks actually. He might handle it better than you think. Listen Nikki you are going to have to start talking to us. We are here to help but unles you let us how can we?"

I nodded,"I understand."

"Good. Try to eat some crackers this kind of weight loss is not healthy lose anymore and I will put a feeding tube in."

I didn't want that to happen so I took the crackers maybe they'll help. Carlisle kissed my head and walked back out of my room. Pregnant? Well that's just fucking great. Of course I wanted it but shit i'm not even there how am I going to tell him? I put that towards the back of my mind and went to get dressed.

My sisters and I turn 18 today legal adults and of course the party was on the beach like always. Rose came in,"You ok?"

I smiled,"Yeah i'm great."

"I'm here you know. We all are, you don't have to tell him if you don't want to."

"I don't want to right now. I'm not ready for that."

"I understand. If you get tired tonight just let one of us know and we'll bring you back. Rest is important so Jasper is going to start helping you sleep whether you want him to or not."

"I need sleep I know. Thanks Rose."

"That's what i'm here for. Come on let's go to the party."

I already knew she's going to be very protective of me but that's ok right now she knows it's what I want. I don't want to have another miscarriage so I have to be extra careful.

"There's my girl. We got you a present I think you're going to love." It's a car I just know it. I followed him out the front door and sitting in the drive way was a brand new mignight blue 2010 bmw 5 series, limo tint windows i'm in love.

"Oh my god. This is mine?"

"Of course dear. We wanted to get you something safe especially with a new edition on the way." Esme wrapped her arm around my shoulder and kissed my head.

"Thank you. I love it."

"Your welcome but tonight we take the jeep."

"Ok but I can drive it tomorrow?"

"Of course we're going to Seattle tomorrow." Alice was bouncing up and down.

"It's a little early to go shopping Alice."

"Nope spa day." My favorite thing to do.

"Thank god."

"Well let's go."

I rode with Rose and Emmett to the beach and the closer we got the more nervous I got.

"Chill out NikkiNik. Just have a good time."

"Right good time."

"You don't have to leave my side if you don't want to Nik."

"Thanks Rose i'll be ok though." I wanted to see my boys and family but not Embry. I'm not ready to face him.

I climbed out and rode on Emmett's back up the hill to the cliffs didn't want to fall. He put me down gently instead of dropping me like normal.

I will admit the place looked beautiful all done in our favorite colors pink, blue, and purple. Under a huge tent luckily no dance floor was a stage though but just a small one. Everyone was already here and three tables were in the back all piled with presents one for each of us.

"Wow you came!" Aly gave me a huge hug.

"Of course I did. It's not a party without me." I put on my best fake smile tonight they will believe i'm fine.

"Hell no. Look you at you though your so skinny."

I shrugged and let her pull me through the sea of tables to where Courtney, mom, dad, Collin, and Brady were. Court squealed,"Happy Birthday!"

"Happy birthday Court."

"Hey Nik." Collin and Brady each gave me a hug and kissed my head.

"Hey."

"Happy Birthday baby girl!"Mom squeezed me tight against her and passed me to dad.

"Glad you came baby."

"Me too daddy." He held me to his side as I looked around. I saw Alice take the stage.

"Alright now that everyone is here I guess it's time we get started." Everyone clapped and whistled as a screen lowered,"As you all know we're here to celebrate our favorite triplets' birthdays today! Nikolisa, Courtney, and Alyssa, happy birthday girls. We love you!"

Everyone screamed,"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"So first off we're going to start with Court because she's the oldest. This is from Brady."

It was an awesome video just of his favorite pictures of her when we were growing up and the song All my Life by K-ci & JoJo was playing in the background. Shit even I was crying and when it ended there he was down on one knee with a ring.

"Oh my god! Yes!" He didn't even have to ask she lunged at him.

Aly was next but Collin didn't make a video he just straight up told her they were getting married. Of course she said yes but still.

"And our favorite triplet. No offense Court or Aly."

"None taken!" They both said at the same time.

"Everyone here helped with this video we hope you love it." Take Me Away by Lifehouse started playing. I watched as pictures and sayings went across the screen. The pictures were awesome some I didn't even know they had,"So did you like it?"

I nodded and wiped my eyes,"Good. Now behind the presents there are chairs for you to sit in. Go on." I rolled my eyes and followed my sisters to the present tables. I wasn't much into gifts but whatever.

"We aren't going to take turns for this or we will be here all night so go at it read the cards first!"

I got some really cool shit from everyone and I made sure to leave the presents from Ashley and Embry those are two gifts I don't want.

"Aren't you going to open my gift?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I sighed,"I just don't want to."

"Why are you so skinny?"

"None of your business." I really don't want to talk to her.

"Look I know you hate me but I didn't come here to fight I thought it would be like a piece offering type thing."

"It's not ok. I'm not even mad Ashley just leave me be ok?"

She picked up her gift and walked out of the tent with her baby waddle.

"That wasn't very nice NikNik."

"I don't give a shit Embry you can leave me the hell alone too." I suddenly felt all my anger and hate wash away and peace take over.

"Nik she was just trying to be nice."

"Why would you bring her here? To my party?"

"She's apart of the family like it or not. That's my son she's having."

"Yeah don't remind me. Look please just leave me alone."

"Just talk to me Nik."

"I can't."

"Why?"

Jasper wasn't calming me anymore he let me feel everything all at once and I broke,"Did you know for the past three fucking weeks I havent talked to anyone? I sat in my room with Jasper trying to get me to talk. The pain is to much for me to handle don't you get that?! Embry when you asked me if it was ok for you to date someone else I wanted to say no but its what made you happy so I said yes. I didn't think you would actually fuck someone though unprotected like that. Yeah I did the same shit but it started after I found out about Ashley. I think the only reason you were able to forgive me about Jake is because I miscarried if I had him you wouldn't have huh?"He shook his head no,"That's what I thought so do you really expect me to forgive you about her?! Well maybe in time I can but until then I want nothing to do with you nothing! If there was a way to break the fucking imprint you bet your ass I would do it!" By the time I was done he was shaking so bad they had to pull him out.

I walked right into Jasper's arms, i'm so use to it I didn't even think of my dad. Which just got my anger going even more,"And another thing,"I grabbed the mic from Alice,"Where the hell have you guys been for the past three weeks? Why hasn't anyone called or tried to see me? You think I needed space? No in fact I needed my family more than anything and the only one's that were there for me were the Cullens--"

"You left us remember?" I looked over at Kim.

"I left because you all took Embry's side and what you offered her into the family just like that?"

"She's having his baby Nik. We still love you more than anything." Seth was smiling apologetically at me.

"Is that any reason to actually give her my necklace?"Eyes went wide,"Yeah she had it on. You see tonight was suppose to be about me and my sisters having fun on our 18th birthday but instead here I am regretting coming. I love you girls congradulations and happy birthday." I dropped the mic and walked right out the tent and kept going to where the cars were. The Cullens already there waiting for me.

"Time for some real fun!" Emmett threw his fist in the air and I couldn't help but smile.

"You knew huh?"

"Of course darlin'. You feel better though don't you?"

My smile widened,"Yeah I do."

My phone rang,"Billy never calls me."

_"Nikki, get a piece of paper and a pen." _

Jasper handed me the things I needed,"I have them."

_"Good. This is what I want you to write.I call to you the keeper of the wolves, come to me and take my pain.I ask of you to break the imprint our souls are not meant to be. I call to you the keeper of the wolves come and set me free. All you have to do Nik is say that in front of a tribal elder no matter who it is but make sure you mean it because there is no going back."_

"This will break the imprint completely I won't be tied to him?"

_"It will. It is a very painful process so be prepared. Make sure Jasper and Carlisle are there with you."_

"Thank you."

_"Of course my dear."_

He hung up and that just made my night even better.

"That's some very big news." Rose grasped my knee,"Best to put it away for right now. We have another surprise for you."

I handed Jasper the paper and looked out the window,"An airport?"

No one answered me but my eyes widened at relization. As soon as the car came to a stop I bolted,"Demetri!" He caught me and swung me around a few times before I was tossed to Felix.

"We've missed you little one."

I kissed his cheeks,"I've missed you guys."

My back was facing the plane and as soon as I said that everyone's eyes moved to the plane. I spun around to see my favorite red eyed vampire standing there in all his glory. I had the biggest smile on my face that im sure made me look like a dork,"You came?"

"I told you I would never miss a birthday." He smiled his sexy ass grin at me and came down the stairs. As soon as his arms were around me I felt like this is what I was missing. I took in his smell which was so sweet.

"Thank you."

"No reason to. I owe you an apology Nik-"

"Nope it's over with come on it's my birthday I want to have fun." I stared into his eyes for a few seconds before I followed everyone to the cars.

"I'm driving!" See I love Felix completely reminds of Emmett. He was holding the keys above his head making Demetri jump trying to get them.

"It's my new car I think I should get to drive it first don't you?"

"Sure little one. Try to keep up with them."

Little did they know I can keep up with them.I smirked and got into the drivers seat. Jasper winked at me before climbing into his least now I know why I wasn't able to drive my car to the beach they sent it here. As soon as Jasper peeled out I floored it following him right on his ass.

"Still think I can't keep up?"

Alec laughed and my god I missed that too.

"What happened at the beach?" I looked in the rear view mirror at Demetri.

"Let's just say they all pissed me off."

"Care to explain?"

"Well how much do you know?" I glanced at Alec.

"Nothing." He shrugged and for some reason I knew he wasn't lying.

"Ok short or long story?"

"Long." I've never known three guys to want the long story before but this is me we're talking about.

"So when I got back I got with Embry he marked me and all the shit that was suppose to happy and then a week or two after that I found out his ex is pregnant she ended up confirming that it's his and I broke. I couldn't take it anymore so I left with Jasper and tonight was the first night in three weeks ive been home. No one tried to call or come see me except Embry. Of course I wouldn't have talked to them I havent talked to anyone in three weeks not even Jasper." I sent him my regret, and all the love I had for him. I knew he understood when I got the love back."So at my party I lost it and told Em off just let go of it all, and then when I walked into Jasper's arms instead of my dad's my anger flared again and went off on all of them for not coming to see me or calling, and excepting Ashley into the family just like that. Do you know they gave her my necklace?"

"The wolf one?"

"Yeah. The one that shows im his they gave it to her."

"I'm sorry Nik."

"Whatever they're my family and I love them but they showed true colors you know? Just because she's carrying a future member of the pack. I mean what if I would have came out and told them I was pregnant tonight? Would they have treated me the same?"

"What?! Your pregnant?" My eyes went wide shit I didn't mean to say that shit.

"Yeah. Carlisle told me today, i'm six weeks."

"Congrats little one." Felix messed up my hair.

"Can I name it?"

"No D you can't name my baby."

"Dammit come on?!" I had to laugh at his pout.

"I'll think about it."

"Ok." He smiled and looked out the window.

"You haven't told him?" Ive missed Alec and the talks we use to have.

"No and I don't want to tell him. He already has one baby on the way."

"He has the right to his kid Nik."

"Yeah and I have the right to keep it to myself for awhile. Look Alec,you know I love you but-"

"Don't go there of course i'm always on your side. I just want you to see the big picture. What are you going to do if it's a boy and he phases?"

"What if it's a girl and she doesn't."

"I'll respect your wishes. I know you wanted this so congradulations." He put his hand against my cheek and I leaned into while I pulled into a parking spot.

"Oh hell yes! Bowling!" Demetri was out the car and in the door before I even put it in park.

My birthday kept getting better and better,"Jake!"

"Hey baby girl. Happy birthday." He kissed my head,"Why the hell are you so skinny?"

I ignored his question and hugged everyone else.

"Congrats Nikki."

"You heard huh?"

"Yep. Don't worry baby we won't tell him anything we hardly talk as it is." Jake winked at me before following everyone else in.

"You know Jake that means if it is a boy and you decide not to tell Embry anything and he phases the boys will be there for him."

That made me feel so much better,"Yeah I got the whole wink thing. Thanks Ness."

"Of course. And i'm here if you need me too."

I ran back to the jeep and got the paper out of the car and went to the middle of the alley where there was nothing for me to fall on or hit my head hard on,"Jake?"

"What?" He had his mouth full.

"Come ?" I took a deep breath and told myself I could do this,"I call to you the keeper of the wolves come to me and take my pain." As soon as I said that the wind started to blow and all I could see was Jake,"I ask of you to break the imprint our souls are not meant to be. I call to you the keeper of the wolves come and set me free." I felt as if my heart was being pulled out of me.

"Nikki?" I could hear Alec but couldn't see him.

It was like a dream Jake was there by my side but the woman there was so beautiful,"My sweet child. I feel your pain and I have come to set you free."

"Mom?" I looked back at Jake happy he could share this with me.

"Hello baby. You have grown into an amazing leader my son. I am proud of you." She caressed his cheek before putting her hand on my heart,"I free you from the pain of your heart. I free you from the ties of the imprint you will no longer feel the pull."

I looked into her eyes,"Is my-"

"The baby is fine sweetheart, and I can promise you that you will make the right choices believe in yourself. Jake is here for you and so are my grandsons." Jake had unshed tears in his eyes,"Do not cry my son. I am always close to you, i'm in the wind, and in the rain never forget that."

And just like that she was gone. I looked up at Jake and smiled,"You look just like her. Thank you."

He hugged me tight,"Thanks Nik. I needed that."

"So did I." I was able to breathe so easily and didn't have this weight on my heart like I wasn't making someone happy.

"What was that?" Nessie looked from me to Jake and back again.

"I broke the imprint."

"?"

"After the party Billy called and said if I wanted to break the imprint all I had to do is say what I said and it'll be broken. I had to say it in front of an elder and Jake was here so I figured why not now."

"Lay down Nik need to look you over."

I laid down on my back so Carlisle could check over me,"She said the baby is fine Carlisle."

"I just want to be sure. What made you decide now?"

"Because everyone else would have stopped me or tried to talk me out of it. I'm glad I did too, he got to see his mom."

"What do you mean?"

"She's the keeper of the wolves."

"That explains the white light." He looked off for a second,"It all makes perfect sense. In that case i'm glad you did it too he deserved that."

I locked eyes with Jake,"Yeah he did." I mouthed another thank you at him before looking at my godfather,"I'm sorry Jasper I couldn't help it."

"I know and I forgive you but some warning would have been nice." He patted my leg and stayed beside me while Carlisle checked over me. After about another five minutes he was done.

"Alright all done." He put my shirt down and helped me up.

"Now that the serious shit is done with let's enjoy the rest of my birthday." I smiled and walked over to Alec who put his arm around my shoulder,"You sure your ok?"

"Never better."

He kissed my head,"Good now prepare to get your ass kicked."

"Your on." I joined Jake,Nessie,Jasper,and Emmett. The other team was Alec,Felix,Demetri, Alex, and Ryan. I had the most fun in months with them all laughing and joking. It was funny to watch a bunch of vampires be gentle when throwing the balls.

I yawned and before I knew it I was surrounded by overprotective vampires,"I'm fine."

"Maybe we should go home Nik?"

It felt nice to have Rose stroke my hair,"I'm tired."

"We're leaving. You can nap until we get you something to eat." I was picked up by Alec and was asleep before we even got in the car.

**Alec**

"She really wasn't ok was she?" Even I felt like shuddering with the look Rose gave me.

"I tried telling you that but you wouldn't listen. This is the best she's been since we got back from Volterra. Jake said she wasn't even this happy when she was with Embry."

I nodded taking it all in,"We have alot to talk about."

"Yeah. You do. Just don't hurt her Alec or we will all play a part in your death." She smirked at me before turning to face out the window.

"I don't plan on it."

We pulled up the long drive to the Cullen,"She needs to eat."

"She will Esme has food made inside already."

I scooted out of the car with her.

"Give her to me, you need to hunt."

I handed her off to Jasper and went with my brothers.

"She's tiny brother. More so than before." I know they care about her she has a way to everyone's heart.

"Yeah I honestly didn't think it was that bad. Rose said that she's lost like ten pounds in three weeks because she can't keep anything down."

Felix clapped me on the back,"Not your fault none of us believe Alice before she left either. We're here now all that matters."

"Right we can't leave her again." They both agreed and i'm not sure how but all I know is that I have to win her back make her see I won't hurt her anymore.

**Me**

I woke up to the smell of food.

"Eggs and bacon."

"Thanks Esme." Jasper put me down so I could eat,"Where's Alec?"

"Hunting he'll be back."

I nodded and finished eating it actually didn't make me sick.

"Let's get you in bed do you think you need my help?"

"If you think I need it yes." I kissed his cheek,"Thank you for everything."

"No thanks needed you're the daughter I never had. Sleep we'll talk more tomorrow."

"Night Jasper love you."

"Love you too." He kissed my head and put me to sleep. Ive never slept better I don't think I even needed Japsers help sleeping.

I stretched getting up going to the bathroom. I did my morning thing showered and got ready before going downstairs.

"Morning sunshine." Felix turned around so I could get on his back.

"Morning. Where's everyone else?"

"Hunting. Alec and Demetri are making you breakfast."

"Is that really a good idea?" I ducked under the frame as we walked into the kitchen.

"I resent that comment. I have you know I use to be a very good cook."

"Yeah what 600 years ago Demetri?" He threw a roll at my head.

"More like 4." I smiled at him as Alec sat a plate down for me and before I blinked Felix put me down on the chair.

"Thank you."

"Esme said it shouldn't upset your stomach." Jake was standing with his arms crossed over his chest at the door. Damn him for being so hot. I smiled at him and patted the seat next to me.

"We're leaving later today can't really be here."

"I figured as much I guess the rest of the coven will have to leave soon too huh?" That made me freak out.

"Chill out Nik we're talking about it once they're back from won't leave you behind you should know that baby."

"Of course you wouldn't." I took a few more bites but decided not to push it anymore than that,"Thank you so much for breakfast."

Alec smiled at me,"We were hoping you would talk to us while they were gone."

"Me too, that's why I stayed here."

"Sure." I hopped off the stool,"Living room?"

They all nodded. Good cause I really didn't feel like moving much more than that. I climbed into Jaspers chair and set cross legged facing them,"So?"

"What happened baby girl?"Jake stretched out on the couch closest to me while the others just stood against the wall.

"You know I wasn't right when I came back from Volterra. When I lost the baby it affected me cause i've always wanted to be a mom. I tried to act like everything was ok but I couldn't quit blaming myself that if I only knew ya know? I couldn't really talk to anyone about it cause I didn't know how to start a conversation like that. I told Carlisle that I felt fine and didn't need the medication anymore, and of course he believed me. I've never lied to them before and I feel bad about it but I had to get out of there I had to leave all of the memories of it behind. I thought if I ran i'd get better so I did."

"You could have talked to me baby girl. He was my son too."

I shrugged,"I know but when I got back here with Embry I was so wraped up in trying to keep him happy and trying to get pregnant that I didn't have time to think about it really. When I found out about Ashley I just snapped I mean for her to be exactly five months pregnant with a boy I flipped.I couldn't even think about her giving him what I wanted to and having the baby I should have make sense?" They all nodded,"After I talked to her especially about me being a step mom that did it broke the last straw I guess and I had to get away."

"We get that but what led to shutting everyone out for three weeks?" I looked at Felix.

"The day after I got here the pain from the imprint hurt so bad all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball. I started thinking about everything how I would have done things differently if I could have. I didn't want to talk about it I was tired of putting on a happy face and pretending like everything was ok."

"We all knew that wasn't true especially the ones closest to you, but Em wouldn't let us close to you. Look Nik you should know that Embry was the one keeping your boys from coming to see you he figured if you wouldn't talk to him you didn't need to see them either. I think everyone else was just following whatever he said."

"See I get the boys but my parents? Sisters? I mean really? No I don't think so you can't just shut me out and then expect everything to be all right like i'm going to forget they didn't come to see me?"

". Woah. What's with all the anger lady bug?" I smiled at my old nickname.

"Sorry Jasper we were just talking about the past three weeks." I got up so he could sit down and plopped right back down on his lap like always he's my big vampire like comfort blanket.

Edward laughed,"Good way of putting it Nik."

I shrugged and smiled,"Well it's true Jasper is my big vampire like comfort blanket."

Japser laughed so hard I almost fell out of his lap,"Nice to know I comfort you."

"You all do really just you more so than others. Emmett's my big teddy bear." Em growled lowly at me which made me laugh.

"It's good to have you back to your old self sweet heart. Did they feed you?"

"Yes thank you. Am I moving with you?"

"Hell yeah NikkiNik we couldn't leave you behind. Did you really think we would?"

I nodded,"I mean I know i'm family but-"

"You are officially family now baby girl plus you are pregnant with a possible next generation wolf try explaining that to a normal doc." Jake winked at me.

"And because of that we leave as soon as you are ready to."

"We can go now? I'm tired so I can sleep most of the way there."

"Let's go. We can go shopping once we get there."

"Wait where are we going?"

"Bridgeport. Haven't been there in years."

I nodded,"Sounds nice."

"You'll love it Nik besides we have so many acres of land you can just run and do whatever you want without really leaving." Ness knew me well I yawned and felt my eyes getting heavy.

"That's a sign as we should go."

"Demetri wreck me car i'll kill you."

He grinned and caught the keys while Jasper carried me to the car,"Let us know if you need to stop."

"Ok. I'm going to sleep." I curled up and laid my head on Alec,"I really am glad your here."

"Me too baby me too."

"How long are you staying?"

"Until you tell us to leave. Aro has agreed to let us be your personal gaurd."

I smiled before the black took over.

I woke up having to pee,"Jasper I need to pee." I knew he would hear me and pulled into the next gas station.

"Come on Nik i'll go with you." Ness wrapped her arm in my elbow and walked at my pace to the bathroom.

"Where are we?" I managed to get out in between yawns.

"Just crossed the New Hampshire border only three hours left before we're there."

My eyes went wide,"What? How long have I been asleep?"

"Eight hours. Grandpa is going to run some tests once we get there."

I nodded and washed my hands,"Thanks Nessie."

"For what?"

"For letting Jake be a huge part in my life and the baby's."

She grabbed me in a hug,"Nikki, you both are a huge huge part in both of our lives and if you don't want Embry around that's your choice. Jake is excited to have another baby around he won't admit it but he misses it."

I laughed when I heard him,"I do not."

"Right. So think nothing of it. Plus you know this family loves babies."

For someone that was technically the same age as me just more matured and acted older she was awesome.

The twins should be eight but took after her and grew faster than normal and are my age physically and won't grow anymore. That's all they got from her everything else is all Jake.

Rose greeted me by the door,"I got you some water. Apple or Banana?"

"Both? Please and thank you." I kissed her cheek,"Do you think I could ride with you and Emmett?"

"Hell yeah come on NikkiNik!" Emmett banged on the roof of his jeep and Rose got the biggest smile on her face. Alec smiled and got back in the car with his brothers. It's going to take me awhile to get use to him being back and a long time to trust him again.

Rose helped me jump into the back seat and climbed in her normal seat.

"You feeling ok?"

"Yeah. I think it was the food plus the medicine together that caused it."

"Could have been. You are still tired though right?"

"Not now no. I wasn't expecting to sleep that long either."

"You needed it. Carlisle is thinking you are anemic."

"Makes sense. With all the problems mom had it does."

"That's right don't worry-"

"Carlisle's the best and Edward's second i'm not worried." I squeezed her hand,"Plus I have five very smart women taking care of me making sure i'm eating right and whatever I need. I don't take that lightly. I am very grateful for everything you guys are doing for me."

"You're like a daughter to us baby we love you." She kissed my head and Emmett messed up my hair.

"I hope it's a boy teach him to hunt grizzly's."

I laughed and before I knew it we were there. Staring at four beautiful houses in the mountain side with no one anywhere near us. It's like we don't exist up here.

"That one there is ours." Nessie pointed to the one that was huge backed up all the way to the trees.

"Wow."

She smiled,"There are five small houses burried in the woods for each couple to have and daddy and mom's house is twenty miles that way so he won't hear our minds while there."

"Why three other houses?"

"That one there is mine and Carlisle's the middle of course. The next one is Jasper and Alice's. Then Rose and Emmett's. The boys will be staying with Carlisle and myself until we build their house. And your house Nikki is going to go right next to Nessie and Jake's."

"Esme?"

"Do not argue with me you are going to be with this family for the rest of your life that is if you want to be. There will be a house built for you just like the others."

I started crying and ran into her arms,"Thank you."

"No reason until then your room has been made with Jasper and Alice."

Before I could blink I was on Alice's back running into the blue country looking victorian home.

"It was Jasper's idea he wanted something that could represent the both of us."

I looked back at him and could tell something was wrong I wasn't the only one.

"Jazzy what's the matter?"

"Nothing i'm fine. Why don't you let me show Nikki her room."

I smiled he always had a suttle way of telling her he wanted to talk to me alone. The walls of the house were lined with pictures of the three of us together like they really were my parents. I smiled and walked into my room. It was gorgeous the walls were a soft turquoise color with pictures of all of my family and there was a huge tv on the wall, all my favorite books and movies.

"Jasper this is awesome. Thank you."

"Our pleasure. Your closet is packed with clothes and I managed to talk Alice into letting me do the shopping for you." He winked at me.

"Thank god. I love her but i'm more comfy in my shorts and tanks. So what's wrong?"

"I want your opinion on the guys being here."

"I'm fine with it Jasper actually I love that they're here."I thought about it for a second,"I get it. I know that a baby has the purest of blood but with he or she being part wolf won't the blood already stink to you?"

He smirked,"It will but that does not mean the temptation will not remain."

"I trust them if they do not wish to kill me then I have no problem in trusting them with the baby. That wasn't it though was it?"

"Part of it. I don't want to see you get hurt darlin'. You have to see it from my point of view and i'm not telling you to stay away from him just be careful with your heart."

"I think right now it's best if I just focus on myself and the baby. Whatever happens between Alec and I will happen in the future but right now i'm happy with him just being here."

"You don't trust him." I wasn't a question but he knew the answer.

"It's not what you think. I don't trust him in the fact that I don't want him to shut me out again that killed me."

"I understand. What is this curiousity you have?"

"Who called him?"

"I did. I knew you would want him there for your birthday and figured if I couldn't get you to talk that he could."

"You know me better than anyone." I walked into the joining bathroom which was huge with a jacuzzi tube and a rain shower. The closet was huge and full of clothes not just shorts and tanks but clothes I could actually go out in.

"It's to early for maternity clothes but when the time comes they will take you shopping."

"Do you think i'm doing the right thing?" I'm not sure when it happened but we were back outside with everyone else.

"I think you should whatever you want to do sweet pea. If you think it's best Embry isn't around then he doesn't have to be around. If you want him we can send you back to La Push to be with him."

"Oh no, no, no. I don't want him I was just saying do you think i'm being fair to the baby?"

"It's not like it's not going to have a father figure all of ur are here."

"And you have us too Nik." Alex pointed to himself and Ryan,"You don't need him and if later in life the kid wants to meet him then so be it."

I nodded,"Right so how bout that blood test?"

Carlisle laughed and let me climb on his back and took me into his new office.


	6. Chapter 6

"So dear how are you feeling?"

I looked up at Esme,"Horrible."

"It should pass soon." She kissed my head and was gone.

I had a lot to process i'm pregnant with Embry's child, Alec is back, and I broke the imprint. I feel free but that doesnt mean I don't miss him any.

"Nik?"

"Hi Carlisle."

"If you don't mind I would like to preform an ultrasound the tests I ran have shown some concerning results."

"What kind of concerns?"

"I want to make sure i'm right first come dear."

I followed him up to the study and laid out on the table. I didn't ask questions just watched the screen.

He pulled off his gloves,"Well I was correct, it looks like the wolf genes are speeding up the process a little bit. As of right now you're showing as almost seven months."

My eyes popped,"Come again?"

"I'm not quite sure how much longer you will be pregnant could be two weeks maybe two months."

"Carlisle I just found out two months ago I was pregnant now you're telling me in two weeks I might be a mom?"

"Well if it's anything like Bella yes,but it could also be like Nessie's. I can't really say for sure."

"Did you see what it is?"

"Boy."

I nodded I guess i'm destined for a boy cause a girl just isn't happening for me yet.

"That means you might want to hurry up and decide on whether you are going to tell Embry or not."

I nodded boy means he can phase. I know Jake said they would help out when it was time for him to phase but its not the same. If he does phase that means Embry will find out since he has a direct link to Jake's mind at all times while he's phased. I'm torn on one hand I want to tell him but on the other I don't because it was never meant to be for us. Everything was different with us almost as if he didn't imprint on me.

"I need to talk to Jake."

Sure he will tell me to follow my heart and won't really be any help but he always does it in a way that makes me think he helped. He has this way of getting me to say what I really feel instead of what my head is telling me.

I walked up the path behind his house to the bench he made for me and waited. He's phased he'll smell that i'm here.

Sure enough I wasn't there long when he came walking up the path to me,"Hey baby girl. What's with the long face?"

"Carlisle told me its a boy today but i'm measuring at 7 months instead of 4 like I should be."

He sighed sitting down,"So what does that mean?"

I shrugged,"He said he can be here in as soon as two weeks but he's not sure."

"It's nothing like Bella's if it was he would already be here. I bet you anything it'll be like Nessie's and go another two moths. Remember how's hers was?"

"Yeah. So what do I do? Do I stick with my plan and leave Embry out of it. Or because it was a boy go back home after he's born?"

He laughed,"Baby you don't have much time before we go back remember? We leave tomorrow for the wedding."

"Fuck! I completely forgot about that."

"Yeah but listen I think you need to do whatever it is that will make you happy. No one else why would you think any different now? Because he's a he?"

"I mean Jake whether or not I tell him now he's going to find out if he phases."

"Right but if he doesn't phase he won't find out. And that's years from now."

I nodded he had a point, and you can't really tell i'm pregnant,"Maybe i'll keep it secret for now."

"Either way we're all here for you. They won't be able to tell your smell is a little different but you don't have a belly really."

"Its ok Jake you can say it i've put on some weight its cool."

He chuckled,"Go pack since you forgot we're leaving."

"Right. By the way have you seen Alec?"

"Not since they went hunting yesterday."

I shrugged it really hasn't been the same between us for about a month now he barely talks to me and when he does he makes it so uncomfortable that I really don't want to talk to him. I can't really say why i've tried asking him but he just ends up getting mad so its better left unsaid.

"Hey Nik by the way you will be riding with me." Alex winked at me. He looks just like Jake all buff and tan god he's gorgeous to bad he's an 8 year old in a 17 year olds body.

"Yay for me!" My sarcasm gets better and better the longer i'm pregnant. I love being a bitch.

"Jasper?"

Things haven't been so good between him and Alice lately either,"What's up darling?"

"Am I causing the problems between you guys? I know I require alot of your attention."

"No darlin' i'm pretty sure I know what it's about but its not about you."

"I think it is me she won't talk to me at all anymore. I don't know what I did wrong but hopefully it gets better soon."

"I'm sure it will. Are you packed?"

"On my way to do that now. I'll have to do some last minute alterations to my dress though Alyssa will be pissed if i'm not in that dress."

"I'll help you." He carried me up to my room and helped me pack.

"I still feel bad Jas. I can try to talk to her."

"I don't think you should. I think you should deal with Alec and i'll focus on Ali."

I nodded,"Can we just leave tonight so I can sleep?"

"We're flying this time baby girl so it'll be easier on you."

"But Alex just told me I had to ride with him."

He laughed,"I think he just wants to be near you."

I shook my head,"I'm going to take a nap."

He kissed my head and left me alone. I figured before I went to sleep I would text Embry i've been meaning to just haven't.

Hey...

_Hi_

How've you been?

_Alright you?_

I'm ok. How's the baby?

_He's good doctor said he can come home soon._

Wait you had him already?

_Yeah if you would have been talking to me you would have known he's two weeks old now. He's in the NICU since he's a little early._

Well congrats maybe while i'm there I can see him?

_Why?_

Cause at one point I was your love you know. Look Em i'm sorry I was pissed I also had every right to be as mad as I was I loved you and you ripped my heart apart.

_You did the same thing when you turned your back on me. You were my imprint the one that should stand behind me no matter what._

I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect little imprint like Aly and Court but i'm me. If you're going to be an ass to me than i'll just keep my distance from you the week we're there.

_Sounds good to me since you're in the mood to be a bitch._

To say i'm pissed would be a severe understatement. I growled and rolled over to sleep, sleep always helps me forget the bad shit that happens to me. It helped me make my choice I was going to keep my son from him for as long as possible at least for right now. My dreams weren't peaceful its always the same dream Alec and Embry fighting both of them end up badly injured. That's why Jasper has to help me sleep at night.

"Nikki, wake up we're leaving soon."

Well I lied she just talked to me,"Ok." I showered and threw my hair up. Am I happy about going back yes and no. Yes because Aly is getting married. No because I don't want to answer any questions.

Esme handed me an apple and some juice while we walked out the house.

"Why did I sleep so long?"

"I helped you for awhile then you just stayed asleep." Jasper kissed my cheek and helped me carry my bags to the car.

"Makes sense. So I was informed by text from Aly I have to stay either at home or with Leah they want me on the rez until after the wedding."

"Why so you can be on lock down?"

"Yeah pretty much. I think she's afraid someone will say something I don't like and i'll run off like I have been doing."

"Well you know we'll be home in a week darlin' no worries."

I watched as Alice got in the car with Alec and the Volturi boys, and looked to Edward I finally understood what was going on. Finally put two and two together why neither one of them were talking to me and why Alice was being such a bitch. She was fucking around on my godfather. Edward picked me up and carried me a few feet away.

"Not now Nikki Jasper doesn't know. He wants to pretend nothing is going on between them. He sees it but won't admit."

"How long?"

"Volterra."

"Wait what? Oh hell no bitch should get ripped apart for being such a fucking skank! How dare she cheat on my godfather!"

"That's why you're mad?"

"I honestly could give a fuck less about Alec although I hope he gets everything he has coming to him I hope I can be there to watch them rip them apart. How the hell can Demetri and Felix just go along with this?"

"I'll tell you more once we land right now we have to leave try to calm yourself and behave for Jasper's sake."

"Just one hit?"

"Alec yes not Alice as I said Jasper doesn't know."

I smirked oh this was going to feel so good so much pent up agression. I can't wait to land and get on the rez. I want to be home with my boys I miss them so much. I miss my family and my life as it was. I missed Embry so much and to have him be so mean to me sucks. I know what i've done has caused him so much pain but I thought I was doing what was best for me.

I shut myself off from them I didn't want to talk or for Edward to hear me or Jasper to feel me I just want to be me. I felt the baby kick and smiled I still haven't decided on a name I of course just found out he's a boy but I think he should have a name. As I looked out the plane window I thought of how I wanted this life to be I was suppose to be at home with Embry married happily by my wolf being the wolf queen. He should be with me through this he should be here helping me decide what his name should be. Why? Why couldn't I stop and think before I broke the imprint before I ran twice. Why? Why didn't I just stand beside him let the wolf heal me. I took out my phone and looked at his picture I missed him so much. I wanted him to tell me everything was fine and nothing would break us apart again but I wouldn't go to him I told him we would keep our distances and that's what i'm going to do.

The closer we got to Port Angeles the happier I was. I can't wait to see Mikey or Junior I wanted a hug and I wanted it from them just then the plane landed. I smiled as I saw my sisters and I did my best to cover up my waddle which wasn't easy.

"Aly!" I wrapped her in a hug as she made me jump with her like we use to,"Hey Court."

"Nik."

"B."

"Sweet pea." He picked me and swung me around.

"I've missed all of you so much."

"Really doesn't seem like it you never call."

"I'm sorry Court. Where's Collin?"

"Work." I nodded knowing what they meant.

"Come on Nik." I followed to the car,"You look good by the way not as skinny. Your dress still fits right?"

"Don't worry I fixed it so yes it fits." I know i'm fat now it sucks but he's worth it. I could do this don't cry I already know everyone will comment on my new weight but that's ok.

"How have you been?"

"Good. Nothing new really." I looked down at my belly which I could see out of the corner of my eye Brady was eyeing it as well. Jake told me I smell different to them and I could tell he knew something was off. I sighed its just a week Nikki you can do this.

"You heard he was born right?" Court hates me now for some reason I don't know why.

**Embry**

I can't lie anymore. I can't do this. Why the fuck am I doing this anyway? The night of her birthday had to have been the worst pain i've ever felt I broke her that last strand she had left broken because we gave up her necklace. The pain that came after she was gone hurt more though my heart was literally ripped into. It wasn't until I talked to Jake I learned she broke our bond. She wanted nothing to do with me and they were moving to New Hampshire or some shit. She's coming back my one and only and I told her to stay away from me. She doesn't know that after she broke the imprint I moved Ashley out of my house but of course i'm still around for my son I refuse to be like my father. When she text me yesterday I was so happy but I have to keep my gaurd up she can't see that i'm still hurting has to be like nothing changed when she ripped my heart out.

"Embry?" I heard Emily yelling for me,"She's here!" I bolted out the kitchen door into my safe haven the woods I stripped and instantly became a wolf it was so easy now. I ran around to the front of the house I just want one look. I want to see how different four months can make? She looked more beautiful now than she did when she was here. She has this glow about her and she's put on a little bit of weight but she's still my Nikki.

_Dude? Isn't that Nikki?_

_Yeah. She just got here._

_So why are you here? Shouldn't you be there?_

This new kid was annoying always asking what happened to Sam's third daughter always wanting to know why I was such an idiot.

_Hey I just point out the obvious._

_Fuck off just for that double shift today i'll be sure to tell Mikey he doesn't have come cover. _With that I phased back it wasn't my safe haven at the moment I could hear all the squealing Nikki was doing probably over seeing her boys as she called them. Everyone missed her so much I had to order them to do everything for the first month she was gone. This time somehow we all knew she wasn't coming back she was happy there with Jake, probably been fucking him this whole time like she did before. I growled at my thoughts as I walked into the hospital to see my son.

"Hey Em. Didn't think you would be here today. Isn't she back?"

I shrugged,"I don't want to see her plus my son's more important anyways."

She smirked,"Don't fuck with me Embry I know you're dying to see her to touch her kiss her. Ami will be fine without you for one day."

I rolled my eyes,"Actually I told her to stay away from me. What did the doc say?"

She shook her head,"He's getting stronger they took his breathing tube out a little bit ago he could do it but was having to struggle with it so they said Thursday they will try again but as soon as he can breathe on his own for a few days he can go home."

I nodded he was so tiny only weighed 3 lbs 14 ounces. He didn't look alive and it wasn't like he was extremely early only eight weeks before his due date. A part of me thinks she forced herself into labor but I don't think she would do that to our son.

"Embry go see her."

I shook my head,"She doesn't want to see me."

She snorted,"Yeah right that girl was head over heels for you when she was here. She tried so hard to except Ami but I understand why she couldn't losing a baby Em is the hardest thing in the world for a woman. She wants to see you because she was your imprint. Is it you're afraid to see her? Scared you'll imprint again and she'll run off?"

I never even thought about the imprint I knew she wasn't staying she was going home in a week.

**ME!**

When we pulled up to the tiny house I missed so much I could feel him. I looked around trying to spot him in the woods and then the feeling was gone just as quick as I had it.

"Nikki!"

"Momma!" She hugged me so tight,"I've missed you so much momma." I started crying I wanted my mom with me through this holding my hand telling me what to expect but I couldn't have everything I wanted.

"Oh you're going to ruin your make up baby girl."

"Where's daddy?"

"He's working out back."

That hurt my daddy didn't want to see me right now. He was mad I know he is but there's nothing I can do about it now. Moms eyes went straight to my stomach and the kicking baby that was inside it. She looked back up to me,"You've put on a little weight baby girl you look good."

I'm glad she didn't say anything I don't want this conversation with a house full of my wolf family and boys. She has that sixth sense can tell if someone is pregnant.

I squealed when I saw Mikey I ran and lunged at him. He of course caught me mid air and swung me around,"God i've missed you guys so much."

Junior and my TyTy all did the same thing. I missed the warm hugs, even the ass grabbing from Junior I giggled and made my way to Seth my other favorite,"God I missed all you guys."

When I got to Quil I didn't like the look he was giving me. I knew someone would be pissed at me for hurting Embry but I didn't expect the cold shoulder from Quil,"Quil?"

"Why would you come back? You keep leaving because you can't handle the shit here and then four months or so later you come back acting like everything is fine. You ripped my best friend in half when you decided to break the imprint so don't come to me expecting a warm welcome back. You smell different something is off about you and you who was so worried about gaining even a half a pound has suddenly put on 20."

I closed my eyes and sighed,"Let's go inside and we'll talk."

"Fuck no. Right here is where it'll be if we are going to talk."

I sighed again,"Quil I thought I was doing what was best for the both of us when I broke our bond. When I saw Embry at our birthday party I figured that he wanted a family with Ashley and their son. I didn't want to get in the way and be selfish. I lost it because no one came to see me sure you all called for a little while and then nothing. I get my boys Jake explained that whole thing." I started crying,"Why was she welcomed so openly into my spot in the pack? Why was she given my wolf girl necklace and branded as the Alpha's property without being true imprint? She was let in because of the baby I get that but come on! You guys hurt me so bad by doing that. I was so fucked up from that I wanted to be free. Free of the pain free of the heartache I knew I was going to face everyday from seeing her stomach and growing child. What the fuck was I suppose to do Quil just sit by like a good fucking imprint and except that he got her pregnant? How would you feel? How would any of you feel if the one you loved asked you to stand by him or her and let them have a physical and emotional relationship with someone else that wasn't you? How would you girls feel if you just lost your baby boy and when you're finally coping some bitch comes to begging you to be a happy step mom and except their relationship?" I was losing it damn pregnancy hormones but I kept going,"When Embry told me the only way he forgave me about my pregnancy with Jake was because I lost him I snapped that was the last string of sanity I had inside of me. I couldn't look at him and you were all tied to him. You all betrayed me just like he did in my mind that's all I could think of." It took everything I had to not rub my stomach when the baby was kicking out of control.

"Nikki calm down." Daddy was now there standing in front of a shaking Quil. He stepped down from phasing so why is he still having symptoms?

"How? When everyone here is pointing their fingers and placing sole blame on me. Yes it was me that called to the keeper and had her break the bond. Yes it was me that was so immature that I had to keep running, it was me that turned my back on my family. But have you ever stopped to think about the events that led up to everything?" They all looked down,"I ran to Volterra because I had this love triangle that I needed to sort out and it mostly was or so I thought but then I miscarried and Alec turned his back on me. So I ran back here where things were better but I was so fucked in my head spiraling out of control and no one noticed, for fucks sake I just lost a baby. My baby! I killed mine and Jake's son." Jake tried to pull me into him but I shrugged him off,"So I thought having Embry would help and it did but he was giving into every sick thought I had. Get me pregnant Embry its what I want. It wasn't I wanted the baby boy I lost, I wanted the baby that I was previously pregnant with and I thought Embry's baby would be him. None of you saw behind the lying smile or the im fines or whatever else. You all thought it was me finding myself and it wasn't it was me hiding my pain trying to have something that was gone forever. When Ashley came to me and said what she did my mental state slipped that much further from me. So I ran to my safe haven my god father. Where I lost myself even further no one knows other than Jasper that I tried so hard to kill myself that first week," I pulled my skirt up to show the deep scar that was now apart of me,"I stabbed myself first then slowly cut my leg open I figured I would bleed to death or my god father would drain me but of course neither of the two had the chance to happen. I shut myself off from everyone. When I told Embry I hadn't talked to anyone in three weeks I wasn't lying I wanted to suffer in silence. I cried for my son and I cried for the life I wasn't meant to have." Quil was crying at this point,"Yes you all know Embry's pain but you have no idea what mine was like. I missed everyone so much and I was excited to come to the party but I was so hurt by Embry's actions when I was giving the oppertunity to run with Jake I did. I left and never looked back. I'm sorry for the pain I caused each of you but I was doing what my crazy fucked up brain thought was right. Fight or Flight mode kicked in and I chose flight. I'm eighteen and have been through more shit than any of you have."

My dad crushed me to his chest,"Welcome home baby girl."

"I can't stay here daddy. There are things that make it impossible now I'll leave in a week with the Cullens."

"I know. I wish there wasn't a reason for you to run, but I know why now. Come let's enjoy this instead of crying and fighting with each other." He kissed my head and we all went inside. Quil hugged me and said he was sorry but there was nothing to be sorry for he was protecting his friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"You now know both sides. I'm sorry Quil. By the way why are you phasing again?"

"We all are." Daddy hugged mom close.

"Why what have I missed?" I looked at Jake who looked down.

"We're here for the wedding but also a fight. I needed you here to be protected by one of the boys while we go fight. We won't be leaving in a week we're staying here until its over with."

My eyes went wide,"What?"

"Nikki calm down ok. I'm sure we'll be gone soon enough."

My head was spinning they tricked me into coming back. Now my secret might come before we leave at least might start showing. I mean i'm measuring at seven months which gives me maybe two more months if that. I was hyperventalating when Carlisle walked in.

"Sit down Nikki slow shallow breaths you're getting to much oxygen right now you need to calm down."

I fell back onto Mikey who wrapped his arms around me which made the baby kick and squrim,"What the-" I slapped my hand on his mouth and shook my head. He can't no no no this is not happening to me.

"Nikolisa Marie Uley you will calm down now!" Jake has never used his Alpha tone on me but I couldn't ignore it I started doing what they said. Carlisle was checking me over Alec was standing at the back door staring at Alice not even showing an ounce of concern for me or my child. I saw red next thing I knew my shield was up and I was on him beating the shit out of him my physical shield had him pinned and my mental had a hold on his power.

"Go back to Volterra and never come back do you understand?"

"Get her off of me!" He was snarling and growling at me venom dripping from his snapping teeth.

"Don't touch me!" My punches were strong but weren't doing the damage I liked so while I held him with my physical shield I ripped his right leg and left arm from his body.

"ENOUGH! Nikolisa Marie Uley drop him this instant." I smirked at Alice as she was trying to get through my shield.

"Are you leaving?"

"Never!" His eyes were black as coal as he tried to free himself I ripped the other limbs off and ran. I ran as fast as I could he can't catch me i'm faster than Edward and still had my shield on him anyways. I pushed my shield out to make my scent go everywhere even Demetri won't be able to track me. I hid them throughout the forest when he was ready to leave i'll tell him where they are. I was smirking as I walked back in my parents house him firmly on the floor where I left him.

"Are you ready to leave?" He shook his head no,"Well when you are you can have them back. Don't try Demetri you won't find them I promise you that." I let Carlisle pick him up and carry him out of my families house.

"What the fuck and how the fuck did that just happen?" They all looked so confused.

"While I was gone Jake has been working with me to control my shield and teaching me how to fight with Jasper."

They nodded in approval,"Where are his limbs?"

"Somewhere out there." I could feel Alice listening.

"Won't she see?"

"Only if I tell any of you she won't just find them. My scent will lead them on a wild goose chase."

"Ok but why did you do that? Don't love him?"

I laughed,"Fuck no not anymore. Its like when I broke the imprint I saw him for who he was and then he started acting funny not talking to me unless absolutely necessary same with Alice. I finally put two and two together. They've been fucking each other since we went to Volterra. Edward told me I couldn't hurt her so I hurt him. Cheating is a crime in their world as soon as he's back in Volterra both will die."

Jake's eyes went wide,"Does Jasper know?"

"No do you think either would be alive if he did?"

"Baby girl why did you get upset when you found out you have to stay?" Mom looked so hurt but I can't tell them not until I absolutely have to.

"Because I left my vibrator at home." She blushed so bad. Jake snorted shaking his head. Yes only me would tell my family that but they dropped it for now at least.

I still kept looking at the door I know he said he would stay away but a part of me just wanted to see him.

**Embry**

I wanted to give in to go see her here her laugh and see her gorgeous blue eyes but I told her I would stay away that's what i'm going to do.

I waited in the woods until I heard Jake leaving to go see him.

"Dude how long you been out here?"

"About two hours. I didn't want to see her."

He snorted,"Em you will at some point have to face her."

I shook my head no,"I can stay away."

"But you shouldn't. She misses you just as much as you miss her. Em I can't tell you why but just please go see her. She needs you."

"Why can't you tell me?"

"I told her I wouldn't."

"Is she dying?"

"Fuck no. Not as long as i'm breathing."

"You love her still?" I was getting mad and I had no right to be she wasn't mine anymore.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face,"Listen to me i'm only going to say this one last time. I love Nik but i'm WITH my imprint. I haven't fucked or even touched Nikki other than comforting hugs since that one time. She NEEDS you to make the first move Em its something you need to do before you lose her forever."

"Why would I lose her forever?"

"When we leave here after all this you will never see her again."

"What? What's happening Jake?"

"I told you I can't tell you. This is something only she can say to you." He clapped me on my shoulder and walked away.

I can't go to her my pride is keeping me from going. What little pride I still have refuses to let me get hurt again. I do want to know what's going on with her though. Is she marrying someone else? Why won't he tell me?

I went up to Sam's house and walked in like always.

"Hey Embry wasn't expecting you." Emily smiled at me.

"Emily can you tell me what's up with Nikki?"

She smiled sadly and shook her head,"I haven't had a chance to talk to her so I don't know anything."

"Jake told me I need to talk to her."

"You should Embry. What she said to all of us earlier was so sad everyone including Paul was crying. She isn't the same as when she left here. She's gained about twenty pounds that's all I can say though."

Sam came down from her room,"Oh hey Em. She just went to sleep."

"I didn't come to see her I just wanted to make sure she's ok. Jake has me worried and Emily isn't helping either."

"She's changed Em. There's something. She smells different i'm sure you can tell."

I hadn't noticed but now that he said something she did smell different her heart was beating faster too,"Why?" They both shrugged and just looked at me.

"I'll be back tomorrow. I want to talk to her just don't say anything to her though."

They both smiled at me as I walked out.

**Emily**

I knew what was different about my daughter and why she didn't want to be here. She's pregnant and hiding it so it must be Embry's. I have this six sense about this kind of thing I can tell when each wolf girl is pregnant before they even start showing. Trust me the baby kicking in her stomach didn't help hide it either.

"What's the matter my love?" My wonderful husband stroked my face.

"I know Sam."

"Know what?"

"Why she doesn't want to stay. She's pregnant."

He looked at me and smiled,"I know."

"What?"

"I phased last night while Jake was thinking about it. Carlisle found that she's showing seven months but should only be four. The wolf gene is making it speed up."

"Oh my poor baby. She has to go through this all alone."

"No my beautiful she doesn't. Sure she should have you but Jake has been taking such good care of her."

"Good at least she has someone. Hopefully she will tell us at least."

"Jake said she doesn't want anyone that could tell Embry knowing."

"What why?"

"She doesn't want to talk about him with Jake so she has no idea that he's not with Ashley anymore. She doesn't want to ruin what he has here."

I started crying,"So she wants to do this all alone?"

"With Jake's help yes. She has Jasper too except for after tonight she might be helping him instead."

"I can't believe Alice. Maybe the talk from Embry tomorrow will convince her to stay. Isn't there something the elders can do? She is taking a wolf baby away from his father."

"I can call a meeting but Jake will take her side the rest I don't really know."

I yawned and closed my eyes begging sleep to come tomorrow will be interesting.

**Me**

When I woke up I wanted to hide Embry was staring at me from my window seat,"What are you doing here?"

He snapped his head up and I put mine down,"You really think I could stay away? Do you really think you could keep it from me?"

He held up a folder with my name on it,"What's that?"

"I took it from Cullen when he was out helping Alec."

"So what's in it?"

"Oh come on Nik. Don't act dumb. When were you planning on telling me?"

I smirked,"There's nothing in there Embry good try though."

"But you are hiding something though right?"

"We all hide something Embry. How's the baby?"

"He's ok. Don't change the subject. You use to tell me everything Nik come on."

"Embry I can't you have your life here and I have mine in Bridgeport with the Cullens. Things are different now."

"You miss me Nik?" I loved him of course I missed him. He looked like it was killing him right now.

"Of course Embry but that doesn't change anything."

He slammed down his fist,"It should Nikki. You love me I love you. You miss me, I miss you. Why can't it change anything?"

"Because you are with her!"

He snorted,"No Nik and I haven't been with her since the night you left. You broke me when you broke our bond." I cant look in his eyes what if he imprints,"Why won't you look at me? Afraid?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You have a family Embry." I wanted to cry my son wouldn't know his dad if I didn't stay our son wouldn't have his right family because of all my stupid shit. I need to stick with one of my choices though just not sure if this is the one to do it with.

"Come on Nik I have a son. I just told you i'm not with Ashley. We talk because of Ami but we don't hang out unless he's involved. She doesn't live with me she has her own place. I love you fuck Nik why can't you see i'm dying here."

My eyes snapped up to him and I couldn't keep from voicing my opinion,"You're dying? Em do you know how that felt to have you tell me I couldn't meet your son while i'm here?"

"Yeah because it hurt just as much saying it. Listen Nik I know you don't trust me but i'll show you. Whatever is going on you can tell me. But you aren't leaving this time, you aren't running anymore."

I shook my head,"I can't stay here Embry i'm going back to Bridgeport with Jake as soon as this shit is over with."

He smirked,"Not if I have anything to do with it."

God I missed him I wanted to touch him needed to but I didn't I held my ground,"If you don't mind I need to get dressed so leave please."

"I'll be downstairs we aren't done Nik."

"Yeah I know." I took my time getting ready and went downstairs.

"Morning everyone."

The boys all grumbled something and I set down,"Where'd he go?"

"To get Jake."

I rolled my eyes what he just thought he was going to talk Jake into making me stay I don't think so. I noticed where my hand was sitting and tried to play it off,"Mom i'm hungry." She smiled and made me a plate.

Mikey nodded,"I figured it out yesterday."

"Shut up Mikey." Everyone looked on with questions clearly written in their expressions,"Keep it to yourself."

I know he would he respect my wishes and he always kept my biggest secrets even after he phased. Never once did any of my secrets get told, from Mikey anyways.

Just then a howl shot through the air hurt. Someone was hurt. I jumped up along with all of them and took off towards that sickening sound I could feel it was Jake.I pushed my shield out as soon as I saw two vamps circling his limp body on the ground I was keeping the other wolves out as well but I had to protect him. I crouched down in front of him growling as I had the two held to the ground,"What the fuck do you want with him?"

They just laughed. I brought forth truth and pushed it out asking again.

**Jake**

I was on my way to Sam's to see Nikki we always had breakfast and a morning run together when I caught their scent two I figured i'm strong enough so took off after them. Little did I know they were some voodoo vamps.

They were circling me as I lunged for the one that stumbled I should have known right then something was off but being the thick headed male I am I didn't and went right after her. She easily sent me flying into a tree I sent out the warning howl but it was filled with pain.

The whole right side of my body was killing me nothing broken so I got back up circling with them again. The male got behind me taking advantage of my weak side kicking my ribs before I could dodge. Geez sometimes i'm such a guy as Nikki would put it.

_We're coming Jake hang on._

I could feel Nikki as she got closer she was throwing her shield out. She shouldn't be here but I know her shield is strong so strong that not only would she not be touched but wouldn't even have to do anything she just had to hold them while my brothers finished them off.

I was surprised when she spread her shield out to keep the wolves as well as these human drinking fucks in their places. She was crouched in front of me growling at them. I could feel something change she was pushing out truth. Why would they stay and fight me why didn't they run?

**ME**

"I asked what the fuck you're doing here? What do you want with him?" My growls were getting deeper evil sounding.

The female flinched but answered,"We were sent to destroy him and two others."

I mentally did a head count as far as I know everyone is still here,"Why? And what other two?"

"If they die you will be weakened. The black and white one and the blonde one."

They were here to take out Jake and his boys. That fueled my anger. I saw red and flew at them pulling the female apart first making the man angry he was fighting against my shield which meant it wasn't safe for me to rip him apart so I stepped back bringing my shield off the wolves and let them rip him apart,"Jake? You good?"

He whined,licked my hand and closed his eyes to phase back,"Be still Jake they'll carry you back. Where are the boys?"

"With the Cullens. Nik?"

"Yeah i'll be there when you get there." I kissed his head and ran off. I understood now why they wanted me to learn to control my shield so I could protect anyone that needed it. I burst through the house,"Alex! Ryan!"

"Nik? What's wrong?" Alex came running down the stairs. Relief flooded through me when I saw both of them bolting towards me.

"Jake he's hurt. Carlisle they are bringing him here."

"What happened?" Nessie was at my side but something was off. Her eyes were off like she didn't really care but had to fake it.

"Two vamps got him. They said they were here to take out Jake and the boys because we would be weakened without them. What if they weren't the only ones and someone else comes for the other boys."

"It'll be ok Nik we'll work it out." Alex brought me into a hug trying to calm me. I didn't need his help I could do it on my own but it wasn't me I was worried about. I'm worried about these three the ones that should be dead. Just then they burst through the door with Jake taking him upstairs following Carlisle.

He started screaming i'm guessing from resetting the bones and it took all I had to not push my shield out to help him.

"Nikki he needs this to heal right." Edward tried to give me a reassuring smile but I just closed myself off to everyone.

"I know that but it doesn't make it any less painful to hear. I'm going back to my parents house i'll check on him later." I got up Seth and Mikey following me out. They didn't phase just walked beside me.

"Nik what's with Nessie lately?" Mikey had the gift of intuition pretty much he knew if something was off and could normally pin point it.

"I don't know her eyes have been off for a few weeks now. It's kind of like she's giving up ya know? They've never really spent time together since my birthday she's always in a different room or even house. It's like they are falling apart."

Seth snorted,"Both of you have to be dumb to not see it. Nik it's because of you," I shook my head,"It is you take up so much of Jake's time whether you realise it or not she's put on a back burner for you." I cocked my eyebrow at him,"I see it when I phase now being as I was in Jake's pack our minds are still linked. He thinks about you non-stop by the way why would you keep the baby from us?"

I sighed,"Please you guys can't say anything I don't want Embry to know."

"Why? That's his son Nik he belongs here on the rez with us." Mikey was getting mad I could tell.

"Look I don't belong here with Em anymore I belong with Jake and the Cullens."

"See right there. You said JAKE and the Cullens not just the Cullens. You love him don't you?"

I looked down I don't know how I feel about Jake i've never really thought about it. Sure we slept together a few times which they all only knew about the one time, but he has an imprint she's his wife and things were suppose to be better for them. I didnt realise just how much time I was spending with Jake relying on him like I am,"I don't know Seth."

They both smirked at me before we fell into a comfortable silence. It made me think I don't think i'm in love with him my feelings are strong towards him yes but I wouldn't exactly say love. Plus there's Embry still seeing him yesterday I just wanted to rip his clothes off right then and there. Might be because I'm pregnant but a part of me still loves him. I was worried he would imprint on me but it didn't happen which I was kind of disappointed with. I smirked and took off the rest of the way to my parents house.

"Ha i'm still faster then you guys are."

"We let you win just like always." Seth smirked at me but what he said was making me think. Did I love Jake? Do I want to be here with Embry?

Aly was bouncing on the steps waiting for me as I reached the porch,"What's up?"

"Is Jake ok?"

"Yeah he'll be fine."

"Good come on you have to help me pick out a cake."

Yum cake sounded so awesome right now,"I thought B was doing that with you."

She snorted,"Yeah cause a fucking wolf taste testing is an awesome idea."

I laughed with her and followed her inside I missed my sisters I just wish Court wasn't so mad at me but I understand completely,"So i've missed alot huh?"

"Yep." She popped the p as we set down at the table,"Nik I wish you would come back. Court misses you so much."

The tears started pooling,"I miss you guys so much, but I don't belong here anymore I gave up that right when I gave up my imprint."

"Oh Nik we all know you both still love each other and want each other just the same. Why do you think he left Ashley you literally broke him Nik. For four weeks after you left he did nothing he just stayed in bed. The night of our party Ashley said it was like he had a heart attack he was in that much pain. He couldn't move for twelve hours just screamed it was like his heart literally broke." I couldn't help it I cried, cried that I caused him all that,"Can you keep a secret though?"

"Of course Aly I always do." I smiled I never told anyone anything my sisters told me not even Embry and he was my best friend through everything.

"I'm pregnant!"

My eyes went wide,"Wwwhat?"

"Yeah I found out yesterday I haven't even told Brady yet but I think he can tell he keeps saying my smell is off the same thing he said about you yesterday." She gasped,"No?" I cried and nodded my head she would figure it out some time and she's my sister,"Oh Nik don't cry it'll be ok. I promise I won't say anything." At that moment for a few seconds the wedding was forgotten and I just cried in my sisters arms. I wanted so badly for this to be my mom but it can't be so I wiped my eyes and set up.

"Enough of that. Let's talk cake." She handed me three pieces to try,"How far along do you think?"

"About two months. You?"

"Four but i'm measuring at seven. It's a boy."

"Wow so it is his." I nodded,"Why are you hiding it then?"

"It's complicated but when not so many ears are around." I winked at her sensing someone coming,"You know I really like this one." I pointed to the red velvet cake with a whipped icing.

"Me too. B's going to love it."

"Love what baby?" B kissed her icing covered lips making her giggle.

"We picked the cake. Red velvet."

"My favorite." He kissed my head and I wanted to cry I couldn't help it I did stupid fucking pregnancy bullshit,"Hey what's wrong? Was I not suppose to?"

"You're fine B." I wiped my eyes and cleared the table facing the sink as the others walked in. I washed the plates, and forks about four times before the tears stopped and I could turn around. Everyone was just staring at me.

"What's the matter Nik?" Junior wrapped me in a huge hug.

"Pms I guess. Plus my sister is getting married in five days. I've missed you Junior."

"I missed you too Nik. Come home please?"

I smirked sadly,"I can't Junior."

He nodded and kept rubbing my back,"Just think about it ok."

"Not a possiblity Jasper needs me now more than you guys do."

"I need you Nik." Embry came walking through the door crying.

**Embry**

After my talk with Nikki, and the attack on Jake finding out that Nikki is a mental and physical shield plus all the other shit she can do was to much for me to take in, so I went to sit with my son.

"Hey baby boy. Daddy loves you. There are a lot of people wanting to meet you so you gotta stay strong little man. Doctor said you aren't doing good but you have to hold on."

I had tears in my eyes as I watched the machine breathe for my son. The doctors said his lungs gave out in the middle of the night and they had to put him on the machine. He was so little only as big as my hand. I cried for my son.

"Mr. Call?" I looked up at the doctor,"I have some bad news." I set back and looked at her,"Unfortunately the tests we have been running on your son have shown he is brain dead sir."

"What? He was doing so good what changed?" I couldn't stop the tears.

"Sir his blood tests show he has a disease called Trisomy 18 also known as Edwards syndrome. Basically he has three copies of chromosome 18 instead of two. Unfortunately there is no cure for this i'm sorry sir but there is nothing I can do from here. You and your wife can decide to keep him alive by life support or can take him off but he will never come back.I'm so sorry sir."

I cried she just told me my son is dead and there is nothing anyone can do to make him better. Not even god himself can save him now,"Does his mother know?"

"Yes sir she's been in the chapel for the last three hours."

I went to Ashley,"Ash?"

"Em Ami is dead."

"I know Ash. Our families need to know this though. I need someone with me before they take him off the machine."

She nodded as I ran out the hospital trying not to phase inside. I ran as fast as I could ignoring Seth in my head. I phased and pulled on my shorts as I ran with tears in my eyes to the only people I needed right now.

I heard her broken voice,"Jasper needs me more right now than you guys do."

"I need you Nik." I was crying as she looked at me.

"Em? What's wrong?" She hugged me as tight as she could.

"It's Ami Nik."

"What happened?" I couldn't answer,"Em what happened? Why are you crying?"

"He has Edward's Syndrome he's brain dead Nik and has to be on life support to breathe." She started crying as my brothers came around me. Quil ran out phasing as he went, Ami was special to him since he's his god father. We all heard the howl break through the sky,"We decided to take him off of it give him some peace." I slid to the floor breaking down. God took my son from me. He took the only thing I had left.

"Oh Em i'm so so so so sorry." She bent down beside me and held me as i cried,"I don't know what to do for you Em."

**Me**

I just held him I couldn't help it he was once my best friend,once my lover I felt so bad for him I know what he's going through what its like to lose a child.

"I have to go back and give permission to take him off life support. I have to go be with my son when he completely dies. I need all of you right now."

"We're here for Em whatever you need." Daddy took me from his grasp as we walked out the door following Em to the hospital to help him say good bye to his first born. He needed me to be strong for him he needs me so much more so than keeping my stupid pride in check for now.

"You smell different Nik." Mikey was sniffing me all over now.

"Hmm maybe i'm just growing up." I shrugged it off as daddy snorted I leaned up to whisper so just he would hear,"I can't daddy not now."

Jake and the Cullens were waiting for us when we got there,"I'm sorry Embry I wish there was something we could do for you." Carlisle hugged Embry.

"It's ok Doc I know its his time i'd rather him be at peace then make myself happy."

Carlisle nodded and led us into the NICU. Ashley was there with her family normally only two people are allowed in NICU but they moved him off to his own little room so we could all be there to say goodbye. Daddy would have to preform the burial blessing in 24 hours. Poor Embry. I went to Jake's side who held me to him as Embry picked up his son for the last time. I cried I remember how I felt loosing my son it was the saddest day of my life but at least they got a few weeks with him before he lost his life.

"We'll lie Nik it's going to be ok." Jake kissed my head as he whispered words of comfort to me. I knew what he meant it means that i'm having my baby here in La Push.

I watched as Carlisle laid him down and started removing the tube from his throat. He turned off the machine as soon as little Ami flat lined, all the wolves were crying they lost a brother today. I was no longer worried about them finding out i'm pregnant I was worried about Embry he looked so broken. I looked at Jasper and knew I wasn't the only one feeling the changes. The changes that were going to take place with my once favorite wolf. I looked at Mikey and knew he felt it too.

We all knew this would be the end of the Embry Call we all knew and loved so dearly. The Embry that was so carefree and never had any worries or cares in the world. Something bad was coming but none of us knew just how bad this would be.


	7. Chapter 7

Ami's blessing was beautiful daddy did a great job. Embry wasn't there though and no one has seen him since the hospital that dreadful day. I know I should try to call him or something but I don't want to give him the wrong idea.

"Hey sweet pea. What ya thinking about?" I smiled up at Jasper.

"Nothing just thinking."

"I know you're worried about him but don't lead him on if you plan on leaving with me." I nodded,"So how long have you known about Alec and Alice?"

My eyes widened,"The day we left. I figured it out and Edward clarified it for me. How long for you?"

"Since it started. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I didn't want to admit the wife i've thought was my mate would cheat on me with some punk from Volterra." I nodded as he went on,"I've never done anything but love and spoil her unconditionally, I even let her change everything about me."

"Are you going to stay with her?" He shook his head,"I'm sorry Jas."

"It wasn't meant to be. Apart of me knew all along when her love wasn't as strong for me as Emmett and Rosalies, i've lost so much in my lifetime I didn't think I'd lose the one person that decided to save me."

"Well you still have me." I smiled a big cheesy smile at him,"But I understand what you're saying. Is she leaving with him?" He nodded,"Are you okay with her dying because that's what is going to happen."

"You've seen it?"

I nodded,"They try to run but Demetri and Felix slip to Aro and they are made to find them with Jane."

"I guess she gets what she deserves then." I smirked at him.

"Todo pasa por una razón, dios padre." I kissed his cheek.

"Que hace guisante. Siempre estaré aquí."

"Para siempre. Te quiero mucho."

He taught me spanish so I could talk to him without my family knowing what we were saying of course the Cullens all know spanish but still I gave me a little privacy in the pack.

"I'm leaving the Cullens Nikki."

"WHAT? WHY?"

"Calm down it's only for a few months or so. I need to clear my head for awhile. Of course it'll be after this fight."

"You can't leave me Jas-"

"I'm not leaving you for good i'll come back."

"But what about the baby?"

"You'll be just fine without my help look at everyone around you."

"But-"

"No sweet pea this is what has to be done."

I jumped up and took off I didn't want to hear anymore he was leaving me. He didn't have to say it but he wouldn't be coming back anytime soon and i'd be without one more person in my life. So I ran to the only person I could think of that could calm me.

"Nik what's wrong?"

"He's leaving Jake."

"Embry?"

"No Jasper. He told me he's leaving the Cullens after the fight."

He hugged me close,"It'll be ok Nik you still have all of us."

"It's not ok. I'm already doing this without my family and now my god father is leaving me too."

"He's just going on vacation for awhile. Give him some time Nik you have to realize just how long he's been married to Alice and she cheated on him he needs time to get his head right he'll be back he wouldn't leave you." He was rubbing circles on my back,"Come on let's go for a walk."

I know what he was saying made sense but still Jasper's been with me my whole life and if he did leave I went with him. It was hard to cope with the fact that he's leaving, "I somehow cause everyone to leave me-"

"No Nik you don't. Sometimes you just have to accept that even though you are a huge part of our lives we all have to take care of ourselves too."

I nodded wanting to cry,"I know but still-"

"Nikki seriously you think everyone has left you and i'm sorry this is going to sound mean but honey you left everyone. You left your parents, sisters, uncles, cousins, and friends because you didn't want to face the hard things. You won't even talk to Embry because you don't want him to find out about the baby, he was your best friend and you told him everything. I understand he just lost his son but don't you think you telling him about this son will stop him from going off the deep end like you?"

"You told me you would support my decision no matter what it is-"

"Now stop Nik you know I support you but this poor me thing has to stop. Yes we're here for you but baby you are the one that decided to go through this without your blood. I get the Cullens mean alot to you and yes you are family to them but have you looked at your mom lately?" I shook my head not saying anything,"She knows, they all know actually well except Embry. You have little time until he's born don't you think its time to start growing up a little more and realize that this isn't just about you anymore."

"I know its not I think this is what's best for everyone."

"Just then you said I think. Look Nik I love you more than I should and I always will but this is your home this is where you belong where he belongs." He kissed my head and held me as I cried I didn't know what to do. He made sense and i'm glad he had the balls to be straight with me. I do need to think about him too not just me.

"Will you come with me?"

He smiled and picked me up,"It'll all be better sweets just give it time."

He set me down in the middle of the couch,"Em?" He looked up at me and I could feel my heart breaking,"I know this really isn't the best time to tell you this-"

"If its bad news Nik I can't take anymore please, Ash just left me she moved back to Colorado with her family. I have no one left."

"I don't think its bad news. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and I shouldn't have ran away so many times."

"That's what you came here for? Is to apologize to me? Fuck Nik I forgave you the day you ran you have no idea how much I love you even without the imprint-"

"Em no it's not just to apologize and i'm not done apologizing but-" I cut off as the door opened and shut. I hadn't noticed Jake move from beside me or even heard him leave.

"But what Nik?"

"Em i'm pregnant."

His eyes got wide and he started shaking and pacing the tiny living room,"Was it Jake? I'll kill him. I'll kill whoever it is for leaving you and your baby-"

"Em no he didn't leave me I left him. Em he's yours."

He immediately set down,"What? Mine? Did you know when you left?"

"Yeah I ran because of it. You broke my heart when I saw her at the party with my necklace in my place welcomed like nothing. So I left without a word to anyone I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me that night."

"Why? Why did you keep this from me and why tell me now?"

"Jake put things into perspective for me. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to be the girl on the side while you were with her-"

"I wanted you Nik fuck you should have known that. I gave you everything and you just walked away, fuck I even tried to get you pregnant because you wanted it. I didn't want to be a dad then."

"I know you did it because I wanted you to, but I didn't want your baby wait that sounded wrong. I wanted this baby to bring back the one I lost. I was so fucked in the head that I thought if I got pregnant it would be like I never lost the one before. Everyone believed the i'm fines and the fake smile even you. I wasn't ok I was fucked up Em and when they told me I was pregnant all I wanted to do was hurt you. So I kept it a secret I didn't tell anyone from our family. The Cullens knew and Jake but no one else. When they left I didn't want to face you **I** was your wolf girl suppose to be your queen and in three weeks you gave up on me." I wiped away some tears,"I can't lie anymore I can't run. The truth is Em i've loved you since I can remember I wanted you to be mine. I wanted so badly for you to treat me like Brady and Collin treated Aly and Court but you never did. I wasn't your world so I started fucking around to try and get some relief. Relief of my favorite wolf not wanting me back. When you told me about the imprint I was SO happy but it fell apart when you asked to be with Ashley. I didnt want you to be something in me screamed mine. I wanted to make you happy to be the one you ran to with everything-"

"You were Nik. You were my best friend you know that-"

"Yes but can you tell me honestly how many nights I cried myself to sleep because you brought her everytime we hung out. How many times I would starve myself because I wanted to be skinny so you'd love me? Do you know how many times I wanted to run to Mikey just to get some comfort of a wolf because my wolf didn't want me? Alec showed interest he wanted me for a little while until he got what he wanted. When I came back here and you wanted me god I can't explain it,"I wiped more tears,"You finally wanted me all of me. It was amazing how happy you made me even fucked up like that. So the day I couldn't find you I freaked I got the necklace from Billy that day you know?"

"What necklace?"

"Your mom's. He gave it to me for being your wolf girl said she'd be so happy we finally got our heads straight. That's how you have it I guess Leah left it in your house or something I don't know but anyways. I couldn't deal with what she wanted from me wanting me to take a back seat to her and Ami. I had just got you all to myself I didn't want to share you. I ran when Billy called me telling me I had a way out I didn't think I just did I broke the imprint. I felt free but I still felt like I belonged with you to you. I pushed it off and dealt with being pregnant there was nothing I could do about it."

"You could have come back here. You could have told me."

"I know but the little scared selfish girl I am wanted to stay gone. Honestly Em I never wanted to tell you-"

He was on his knees in front of me,"Why Nikki? What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?"

Fucking hormones,"You rejected me Embry. My whole life you rejected who I was you made me feel like I was nothing to you. I don't hate you I fucking love you so much. It hurt so bad to see you with her happy with her, having a family with her, my heart beats but there's nothing left. I'm so numb Embry I don't feel anything but pain and sorrow." I started sobbing,"I put on this fucking happy face but its fake everything is fake. Am I happy i'm pregnant, fuck yes, why because he is going to depend on me for at least the first 16 years of his life he needs me. No one has ever needed me, my mom had Aly and Court as back up and they needed her more than me. Leah she stepped up to help but fuck she didn't need me I needed her. You didn't need me you had Ashley. Who needed me? No one I could have dropped off the face of the earth and it wouldn't matter because no one needed me. Now this little boy needs me to survive, needs me to be strong for him."

"I always needed you. I admit I have the most fucked up way of showing it, and I regret taking Ashley the way I did. I'm sorry I threw that shit in your face. Apart of me was running from you too ya know."

"We fucked each other up pretty bad Em." I yawned a few times in a row as we set in silence.

"You're tired?"

I nodded,"It drains me Em I sleep pretty much all the time. I could sleep all day and still go right back to sleep."

"Why? I mean I know Ashley was tired alot but she couldn't sleep that much." Hearing him talk about her like this sucked for me. I wanted to cry but kept the tears in for later.

"Carlisle says im anemic so I take alot of extra iron a day and its helped but not alot."

"What else have I missed?"

I shrugged,"Just normal doctors appointments. I haven't picked out his name yet even though i'm favoring Isaac." He nodded,"It's weird for me Em I mean I just found out i'm pregnant four months ago and I can have him anytime now. I'm not ready for this I mean look at me i'm barely showing." I lifted up my shirt so he could see the little bump I have,"He kicks and everything its just hard to grasp."

"Why is it moving so fast?"

"Carlisle said it's because of the wolf gene. You being full wolf of course and me being half and it in my blood. I think it'll be more like Nessie's and i'll still have two months but still that's not the four and a half I should have."

He rubbed his hand over his face,"I'm sorry Nik. It's alot to take in."

"Yep sure the fuck is. Try having it inside your body. Look Em I haven't ate today so i'm gonna go back home." He frowned,"You should come the family misses you. The pack misses you." He looked deep in thought,"Seriously Em don't do what I did. Don't push anyone away embrace them instead. Let the family help you." He grabbed his shoes and started following me. I smiled at him.

"You drive here?"

"Nope I prefer walking when I can helps me think and relieves some stress I have."

We took our short cut through the woods with my shield up the whole way. It wasn't so scary now that I can protect myself.

"That could be why you aren't gaining weight. You're walking it off."

I nodded,"Probably. It's not like I don't try cause I seriously eat so much and I can't walk that much cause it hurts my back. Carlisle said I should shoot out soon." I was rubbing my belly,"Want to feel?" I blushed,"I mean I know you were there with Ashley but-"

"Nik stop." He put his hand on my stomach and felt the little boy move against him,"That's awesome." I nodded in agreement as we started walking,"You're telling them right?"

"They already know but yeah I guess so, this doesn't mean i'm staying Em."

He stopped,"You can't leave."

"Why? Look Em i'm glad you know but things can't go back to the way they were."

"I don't think you're understanding me. The kid is linked to my pack not Jake's so until he can decide he can't leave the rez."


End file.
